It’s Monday. Status update day in many teams.
But listen closely …
you’ll hear a lot of words that sound like progress but without any actual progress.
Because somewhere along the way, “status update” stopped meaning “how far we’ve come”.
And started meaning “how good we sound”.
It’s about protecting (if not pushing) personal status, rather than monitoring project status.
No wonder real problems stay hidden.
What does “status update” mean in your team?
Keep lighting the path!
I’ve always envied quick-witted people.
Here’s why today, I embrace the choice to not be one of them.
We’ve all been there.
Someone throws out a perfect comeback: sharp, effortless, and timed just right.
The room laughs.
The moment is theirs.
And you think: Why can’t I do that?
Well, you can.
There’s actually a pretty simple way: practice.
Quick-witted people aren’t born that way. They’re quick because they go for it.
A lot.
Without overthinking it.
They throw out lines all the time. The thing that’s easily overlooked is that most of their lines aren’t particularly great. Some of them are actually kind of lame (especially their first ever).
But they don’t care.
They simply go for it again.
And again.
And again.
And when a line does hit the mark, we remember the brilliance of that line and forget the many misses.
In other words, if you want to be more quick-witted, you can start today. There’s no secret sauce.
Let go of perfection, respond faster, see what happens, repeat.
But before you go all-in, ask yourself this:
Why do you want to be quicker?
Because when the laughs fade, what’s left?
Sure, the sharpest remark won the moment.
But the most thoughtful remark changed the conversation.
It comes with less glamour, but with a lot more impact.
So, maybe quick isn’t what you actually need. Maybe what you’re looking for is confidence. The ability to speak up without second-guessing. To express yourself without fear.
That doesn’t come from being faster. It comes from knowing that when you do speak, what you say will matter.
So instead of chasing speed, try this:
Listen better. Think deeper. And say the thing that moves the conversation forward.
I prefer to take my time.
How about you?
Keep lighting the path!
Many great ideas have died as a result of status fights. In the meeting room it became more important whose idea it was rather than whose idea was best.
And so, the best idea died.
Of course, the world couldn’t care less about your status struggles. If you show up with an inferior idea and others show up with their best idea, who’s gonna make it?
For that reason, Rick Rubin, the famous producer, tries to remove names from ideas as much as possible: “I always ask for any information shared with me to not be labeled and not explained at all.” This allows him to judge an idea based on its merits rather than based on whose idea it was.
And quite likely that explains part of why he has managed to produce winning records for over four decades and become one of the most influential producers of the world.
Have you taken any deliberate steps to leave status out of the decision making process?
Status updates are supposed to quickly inform everyone about the status of a project.
Too often, though, these updates are much rather about the status of the people in the project and carry double meanings along the lines of “I’m not to blame for the delay.”, “This is my kingdom. Don’t you dare to invade it.”, “I’m smarter than her.” etc.
In many cases, this happens when the team can’t see how the project is about something bigger than themselves. And so, they lack a sense of belonging to a team that achieves more than anyone could achieve on their own.
Which means that, effectively, everyone’s on their own team.
Which is why they need to protect their status.
Great project leaders create that sense of belonging. They light the path by communicating with irresistible clarity where we’re going as a team, why we’re going there and why everyone belongs.
Some pitch situations quickly turn into a status game.
The pitching party feels high status because they feel like they’ve really nailed it and have an extraordinarily brilliant product. It’s going to change the world (which might be true).
The decision maker feels high status because they get to decide about the proposal and they want you to know that they have the final say. They are extraordinarily brilliant in identifying trends (which might be true).
Inevitably, both desires for higher status clash when one of the parties makes a claim that the other just must dispute – because, well, they know it better (which might be true).
The world, however, couldn’t care less about who’s right and who’s not. Or about who’s in charge and who’s not. They care about which ideas see the light of day. And so, the right idea in the wrong meeting room likely isn’t worth much when the parties have status as their top priority.
Change happens easier if we ban status from the meeting room.
If the other party doesn’t see it that way, you might be better off looking for a different partner.
“Look, you’re not so brilliant. But don’t worry because I am.”
That’s, in essence, the approach of a certain breed of salespeople: To play the high status game. There’s a matching breed of customers who that works for. They are ok with someone else taking the lead.
The opposite approach is the low status game which is all about doing whatever the customer wishes for regardless of how useful that is. There’s a matching breed of customers who love that kind of relationship.
For the rest of the customers, a third approach might work a little better: “You’re brilliant in what you do. We’re brilliant in what we do. Let’s so something brilliant together.” It’s a balanced relationship in which everyone gets to shine in their respective field.
Your story spreads when your audience is able and eager to tell your story.
So.
Are they able to tell it? Do they get it? Is it crystal clear? Can they repeat it? In their language?
But also: Are they eager? Why would they want to tell it? Does it boost their status?
You need both. Easy doesn’t help if there’s no reason for your audience to tell your story. On the other hand, a strong reason to spread your story won’t help if it’s hidden underneath a layer of confusion.
The easier it is for your audience to tell your story and the more the telling of your story boosts their status, the more likely it is that your story actually spreads.
I’ve worked really hard so I deserve this vacation.
I’ve saved my whole life so I deserve this new home.
I’m helping everyone anytime so I deserve this luxury.
My job is super hard so I deserve this gadget that makes it a little easier.
What makes your customers feel that they deserve your offer?
When we tell our story, the ultimate result is when people pass our message along. But let’s face it: Passing anything along is kind of a risk for our audience.
Think about yourself. When, for example, you recommend something to someone, you’re extending your credibility to the thing that you recommend. That’s why we recommend only things that we feel comfortable with ourselves.
It doesn’t stop there. We intuitively understand that, ultimately, the person who asked for our opinion needs to be happy with the thing we recommended to them. And so, we put one extra layer of carefulness on top of our recommendation. Because what if they don’t like it, right?
It would be a threat to our status.
On the other hand, the more someone can be sure that the thing they pass along will boost their status, the more likely they are to actually pass it along.
Will it boost your audience’s status when they pass your message along?
They are happy to rise your status by helping you see things for yourself that now you are proud of having uncovered. They are happy when you take that knowledge and spread it. They are happy when you do great things based on that new knowledge.
Their biggest win is when that knowledge helps you to come up with extraordinary things that they themselves would never have thought of.
That’s a big difference to mediocre communicators whose biggest concern is to show up as the smartest guy in the room. They work hard to make us see how smart they are. Their biggest triumph is when their audience recognises just how much smarter they are than us – up to the point where they don’t even care when they makes the audience feel dumb.
Which is not what anyone likes to feel. And so they don’t get the appreciation they think they deserve.
Life as a communicator gets so much easier when we leave our ego at home. When we consider our communication as an opportunity to boost our audience’s ego rather than our own.
