Auftreten Archive - Page 2 of 8 - The Art of Communicating

Body language tricks

The biggest lever to appearing confident on stage isn’t body language. It’s saying what you mean.

When we don’t believe in the words we use, it will almost always feel at least a little weird because our body wants to do one thing (according to what we actually believe in) while our brain wants it to do another thing (according to what we pretend to believe in).

Most of us are not professional actors. If you lack confidence in your words, you’re not just going to trick your audience with one or two hacks from the last body language workshop. (And let’s just face it: even some professional actors aren’t that good at it.) While most audiences are not body language pros, either, most are pretty good at sensing a mismatch between what our body does and what our words say. They probably can’t pinpoint what’s off exactly but they can somehow sense that something’s off.

That dynamic changes when you switch to saying what you mean, using words you deeply believe in. It won’t magically turn you into a confident speaker, but it will give a much greater impact to anything you do to amplify your message, mostly because message and delivery will be consistent.

The quest for amazing words

Here’s one of the biggest roadblocks for making a better impact with your communication: The ambition to find the most amazing words for saying what you want to say.

That’s not what great communicators do.

Their words don’t touch us because they use “amazing words” or because it’s the most groundbreaking thing.

They touch us because they say out loud what’s on our mind but which we couldn’t find the right words for ourselves. They capture what we would have liked to say ourselves but couldn’t.

Most of all: they simply say it out loud, often in the simplest form.

Stop trying to say the most amazing words. Stop trying to always have to say something groundbreaking.

Instead look closer and say – in plain English – what you see.

Open to change

Wow opens their mind. Aha changes their mind.

Both are better together.

Aha moments can’t happen when your audience doesn’t pay attention. Wow moments are great at getting you attention.

But wow moments get you only half way there. After all, what use is it when people cheer about what a great show it’s been when what you actually want them to cheer for is your idea?

When you’ve opened the door, walk through and take your audience all the way to a profound aha moment.

The slickness of a great pitch

A great pitch doesn’t succeed because it’s slick. It succeeds because it’s clear. Slickness is a side-effect of clarity.

With clarity comes slickness, not the other way around. You can design a super slick pitch deck that’s utterly confusing, has no clear message, and remains vague about the actual plan.

But make it super clear and it’ll be hard to make it ugly.

Copying the slickness is tempting. But copying the clarity is way more useful. But that – of course – means doing the work.

The good news is that once you’ve done the work, you won’t need to copy the looks anymore. You’ll automatically arrive at a tone that’s uniquely appropriate for you idea.

Decoration and polish

When you decorate a diamond you make it less beautiful, not more. Diamonds need to be polished.

Does your product need decoration or polish?

Edgy and weird

Average blends in.
Edgy stands out.

For example, there’s this super weird fashion store that draws an ever growing crowd of loyal superfans.

It’s no wonder that imitators started to spread who tried to copy the edginess.

And failed.

Because they misunderstood the reason people fell in love with the original. Which was not the fact that they were edgy. It was the fact that they were specific.

The imitators copied the look but lacked the understanding of the specific needs of the customers. The edgy look was a consequence of being specific. The fact that it felt kind of weird was much more a coincidence than a choice.

Being specific almost inevitably leads you to become edgy.

Specific can be weird, but more often than not it isn’t. Weird is just one way of being edgy.

Can you be more specific about who you serve? And what they need?

A fun speech

What’s worse than a fun speech that lacks substance? A profound speech that lacks fun.

The fun part might at least get some people to look things up in the aftermath of the event. A boring speech just fades away.

I’ve met quite a number of brilliant people who were deeply frustrated by this, but let’s say it clearly: deep-thought that’s boring hardly changes anything.

Change can only happen when people take notice. If it’s boring they won’t take notice.

If you want them to take notice you’ll need to make it fun.

The big misconception is that both would be mutually exclusive. Which, of course, they are not. Great speeches are profound and fun.

Of course, I’m using “fun” in a more general sense here, as a placeholder that might need to be replaced by other attributes such as “engaging” or “though-provoking” depending on the topic.

By definition, that’s possible for any topic that matters. Because if it matters it has an impact on our lives. And if it has an impact on our lives, it can’t be inherently boring.

Applause vs. impact

If you could pick only one, applause or impact, what would you choose?

Now, if you scroll through your timeline on social media, how do you think did the creators on that timeline choose respectively?

And what were the results for them?

Who got the applause?
Who got the impact?

Two very different keynotes

One made the audience burst with laughter.

The other made the audience fall silent.

The first was a super fun experience for both: the speaker and the audience. The hilarious stories really drove home the point.

During the second speech, you could hear a pin drop. It was a deeply emotional experience for both: the speaker and the audience. Her calmness was the perfect fit for the humble message.

There is not the right way of lighting the path for your audience. Widely different ways can lead you to making an equally profound impact.

In other words: if you’re not hilarious, extroverted, calm (you name it) then there’s still your personal way of making an impact.

The hilarious guy

Think back to your teenage years.
Who was the loudest in the group?
Who got the most laughs for their jokes?
Who told the most hilarious stories?
Who drew all the attention?
Who was the coolest? Or the hottest?

Who’s the most successful today?

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