Let’s talk about nerves.
In 2014, director Michael Bay experienced the worst nightmare of any speaker with a disastrous performance on a big stage. At a Samsung press conference he completely lost it.
It was heartbreaking to watch. He lost it so thoroughly that his lizard brain kicked in with a flight response. He literally fled the stage after about a minute into his appearance.
What had happened? Bay was supposed to endorse Samsungs new curved TVs. Apparently, he had been instructed to just read the text from the teleprompter. But he missed a line and got off script. He said he’d try to improvise, which he completely failed to do. This made him feel so embarrassed that his only way out was to hide from further embarrassment. Watch for yourself:
This happened in front of a 1000+ crowd and it was broadcast live. It’s very instructive to understand how it could come so far.
How can someone who’s directed some of the biggest movies at that time, a person who’s certainly used to speaking in front of crowds, someone who knows a thing or two about viewer experiences, so completely lose it?
Why couldn’t he stay calm? Why couldn’t he take a deep breath and get back on track? Why couldn’t he improvise when he tried?
The answer reveals why most of the advice on stage fright solves the wrong problem. Most advice tells you to breathe properly, use your body language in a certain way, make eye contact etc. But none of this solves Bay’s problem.
Because Bay’s nerves were a symptom. Not the cause.
His problem was that he had to speak words that weren’t his about a cause that wasn’t his. He had to say words he didn’t believe in about things he didn’t care about. (Plus, he obviously didn’t even prepare.)
Do that in front of 1000 people and it’s no wonder you freeze. No wonder you can’t improvise.
While that’s certainly an extreme example, it’s a pattern that I observe with lots of leaders who feel uncomfortable on a big stage. It happens when they try to say words that aren’t quite theirs.
Sometimes, these words come from marketing, internal comms, or an agency. Other times, it’s LinkedIn advice, YouTube, or books. Telling them to use words that sound good, professional, or “more persuasive”. But also, words they’d never use in a conversation.
Your body notices it when you don’t fully stand behind what you’re about to say. And reacts accordingly. Hence, nerves.
The Bay effect is what happens when you try to use marketing speak or professional jargon that makes things sound cool rather than speak about the things that actually are cool in words that are truly yours and come naturally to you.
When we change this for my clients, time and again it’s the pivoting moment where they start to feel comfortable speaking about the things that matter to them even in front of the largest audiences.
My free eBook Speak Easy- 4 Steps to Total Confidence in Your Communication shows you what really helps to speak with confidence.
Keep lighting the path,
Michael
PS: Conference season is approaching fast, so I opened up some more slots for 1:1 Clarity Labs after the summer break. I expect them to fill fast.
