I don’t want the ability to talk people into things. I really don’t.
Persuasion is often considered the gold standard in communication. Getting people to do what you want them to do. What more could you want … in a pitch, a strategy announcement, a keynote, or any of the moments that count?
Well, a lot more, if you ask me.
Persuasion has always felt unambitious to me.
You get the yes, but do they mean it? Will they wholeheartedly support you? Will they fight for it when you’re not around to push it?
But it also focuses you on solving the wrong problem. If an idea only works because I framed it cleverly, I don’t trust the idea. If people only agree because I found the right psychological hack, I don’t trust myself. And when it works, it’s often a hollow win.
That’s not the kind of communicator I want to be.
Three values guide my work:
Honesty.
Empathy.
Trust.
Honesty means there has to be a real point underneath your words.
Not a beautified version of the truth.
Not a polished version of a weak idea.
No jargon that hides uncertainty.
Instead, something that feels so undeniably true that once people see it, they can’t unsee it.
That’s a much higher standard to hold yourself accountable to: If they knew everything you know, would they still say yes?
Persuasion is about saying things better. I prefer saying better things.
Empathy means you no longer get to start with yourself.
You stop assuming people see what you see.
You stop expecting them to share your priorities.
Instead, you do the work.
You see the situation from where they stand.
You use their language.
You find words for what they feel but can’t articulate. Their fears, frustrations, ambitions, and hopes.
So you can say something that makes them think:
“Damn. That’s exactly where I am. Finally someone gets it.”
And then comes the hardest one of all:
Trust.
Because trust means letting go.
No pressure tricks.
No hidden agenda.
No trying to corner them into agreement.
You trust the audience to decide.
Which sounds noble and idealistic until you realize what it actually demands from you: If people are truly free to choose, then what you’re offering had better actually be a good choice for them.
So, what makes it one? What do they need to see so that you can genuinely trust them with the decision?
Can you clearly articulate that?
The higher the stakes, the more tempting it becomes to manipulate. To not leave it to chance.
But if your idea is as good for them as you say, why would you need persuasion? What is persuasion adding that the truth isn’t?
That’s a much higher ambition than getting to yes through persuasion.
Because when you finally get their yes, it will be with full conviction.
Let’s put it that way:
Honesty forces me to find what’s worth saying.
Empathy forces me to make it worth hearing.
Trust forces me to stand behind it.
That’s the communication strategy I believe in.
I’d rather light the path than push people down it.
Keep lighting the path,
Michael
