In a few days, my new project “What the Best Leaders Say” will launch. I thought it would be fun to look at the opposite first.
The things they never say.
What makes this list interesting to me is that most of it sounds reasonable at first sight. Human even. Like, this is a caring person.
But in my experience, it often achieves the opposite of what was intended.
Most of them, in fact, signal a lack of empathy. Worse, some use them to manipulate. To give the appearance of calm and clarity while the reality is anything but.
If you’re using one or more of them, don’t beat yourself up, though. I’ve done it myself. Still, it’s useful to take a look how they look from a distance so we can actually say what we really mean.
So, here goes …
1. “Trust me.”
When you have to ask for trust, it means you have not earned it. And it won’t calm anyone down.
2. “That’s just how we do it.”
Yes. Until now. Because it clearly doesn’t work.
3. “I already explained this.”
If they didn’t get it, they didn’t get it.
4. “We’ll figure it out later.”
Do you? Or are you just hoping that the issue somehow magically vanishes?
5. “It’s not personal.”
It always is.
6. “We need something more exciting.”
You need something more relevant and specific.
7. “Everything’s fine.”
No, it isn’t. And everyone knows it.
What would you add?
And, of course, if you’re curious for the other side of this, why not check out “What the Best Leaders Say”?
Keep lighting the path,
Michael
