When a message doesn’t land, the first instinct is often to explain it again. Perhaps with a little rephrase, some more data here, some polish there.
I’ve done that more times than I can count.
But sometimes, no matter how much you tweak, it just never clicks for the other side.
Here’s the problem:
It’s not the words you use to explain your angle.
It’s the angle itself.
Imagine trying to convince someone to eat healthy.
You could say:
- “It’s good for your health.”
- “You’ll live longer.”
- “It lowers your risk of disease.”
All perfectly valid points.
But none of them matter if the person doesn’t care about those things. Like your friend who says: “You know what? I freakin’ love a good Big Mac. It’s one of the things that makes life really worth living.”
He knows that fast food isn’t a healthy diet. And that he’s drinking too much coke. He simply doesn’t care. His angle is completely square to yours.
Now flip the angle to something that matters to him:
“Imagine having the energy to play with your kids after a long day.”
Same topic. Different angle.
Suddenly, it’s personal.
When your message doesn’t land, it’s maybe not because you need a more elaborate argument for your angle.
Perhaps, it’s because you haven’t found the angle that makes it matter to them.
Really, how often do we try to shift their thinking before we shift our own?
