This simple observation is so often ignored in communication.
Almost certainly what you want overlaps with what your audience wants only partially. For example:
You want to sell your product. The customer wants their problem solved.
You want to build a company. The investor wants return on their invest.
You want the report as soon as possible. The employee wants the report as accurate as possible.
Now you have a choice:
- Insist on your take and try to persuade the other side.
or
- Find the overlap and try to resonate with the other side.
If you picked up a random rhetoric book, chances are you’d find many ways how to do #1. Skilled communicators might even know some tricks to make the other side believe that it’s in their best interest.
But is that the point?
Sure, you might sell the product. But will they come back to buy more? And the report will be handed in today. But will the board be happy?
That’s what’s at stake when we push too hard to persuade the other side. We might get what we want today. But not what we need tomorrow.
I’m really baffled by how often that is ignored. So much advice out there focusses on getting the quick win rather than building the long-term relationship.
Great communication builds relationships. Because relationships get stronger when you resonate.
