“No.”
That’s what you heard.
But here’s what they could have meant.
No, not now.
No, not here.
No, it’s not safe.
No, I’m too tired.
No, I don’t agree.
No, it’s too much.
No, I can’t afford it.
No, it’s not allowed.
No, it’s not my style.
No, I need more time.
No, I’m not interested.
No, I have other plans.
No, it’s not appropriate.
No, I don’t understand it.
No.
Yes, sometimes “no” simply means “no”.
But often there’s more to it.
Sometimes much more:
No, not now (but perhaps next quarter).
No, not here (but let’s go out in the park).
No, it’s not safe (but we can find a safer alternative).
No, I’m too tired (but we can plan for another day).
No, I don’t agree (but I’m open to discussing it further).
No, it’s too much (but I would take half of it).
No, I can’t afford it (but I can save up for it).
No, it’s not allowed (but we can find a way to work within the rules).
No, it’s not my style (but I can recommend someone who might like it).
No, I need more time (but I can get it done by next week).
No, I’m not interested (but thank you for thinking of me).
No, I have other plans (but maybe another time).
No, it’s not appropriate (but we can adjust it to make it work). No, I don’t understand it (but I’m willing to learn).
At least two takeaways here:
When you hear a “no”, consider asking. Then listen …
When you say a “no”, consider using a couple of more words.
What’s your experience with “no“?