“What you said hurt me deeply.”
This needs no further explanation.
And yet, in an argument, how often do you bet on ever more explanations?
You disagree with your colleagues from the executive team.
Mails are gearing up.
Arguments build up.
Everyone feels deeply misunderstood.
More explanations follow.
Still no agreement in sight …
The explanations become longer …
More potential for misunderstandings …
When there’s actually not much to explain in the first place: What your colleague said during the partner meeting hurt you deeply.
That’s it.
This needs no explanation.
Actually, long explanations will likely make it worse.
So, instead of widening your argument why not focus it?
Go to a place where you can calm down, collect your thoughts, and focus.
Could be outside, could be in a quiet corner, could be at a café.
When you’re there, figure out:
So, what is it that I actually want to say? What is my point here?
That’s never 30 reasons. It’s often rather one, maybe two. Often even just a feeling.
And then, in your next reply, just make that point.
Say it as simply as possible.
And leave it at that.
Both, my clients and myself have often been amazed by the difference that makes.
What’s your experience?
Have you ever been frustrated with arguments where no one could find agreement, and everyone just kept overexplaining?
