Trust Archive - This Moment Counts

Why persuasion has always felt unambitious to me

I don’t want the ability to talk people into things. I really don’t.

Persuasion is often considered the gold standard in communication. Getting people to do what you want them to do. What more could you want … in a pitch, a strategy announcement, a keynote, or any of the moments that count?

Well, a lot more, if you ask me.

Persuasion has always felt unambitious to me.

You get the yes, but do they mean it? Will they wholeheartedly support you? Will they fight for it when you’re not around to push it?

But it also focuses you on solving the wrong problem. If an idea only works because I framed it cleverly, I don’t trust the idea. If people only agree because I found the right psychological hack, I don’t trust myself. And when it works, it’s often a hollow win.

That’s not the kind of communicator I want to be.

Three values guide my work:

Honesty.
Empathy.
Trust.

Honesty means there has to be a real point underneath your words.

Not a beautified version of the truth.
Not a polished version of a weak idea.
No jargon that hides uncertainty.

Instead, something that feels so undeniably true that once people see it, they can’t unsee it.

That’s a much higher standard to hold yourself accountable to: If they knew everything you know, would they still say yes?

Persuasion is about saying things better. I prefer saying better things.

Empathy means you no longer get to start with yourself.

You stop assuming people see what you see.
You stop expecting them to share your priorities.

Instead, you do the work.

You see the situation from where they stand.
You use their language.
You find words for what they feel but can’t articulate. Their fears, frustrations, ambitions, and hopes.

So you can say something that makes them think:

“Damn. That’s exactly where I am. Finally someone gets it.”

And then comes the hardest one of all:

Trust.

Because trust means letting go.

No pressure tricks.
No hidden agenda.
No trying to corner them into agreement.

You trust the audience to decide.

Which sounds noble and idealistic until you realize what it actually demands from you: If people are truly free to choose, then what you’re offering had better actually be a good choice for them.

So, what makes it one? What do they need to see so that you can genuinely trust them with the decision?

Can you clearly articulate that?

The higher the stakes, the more tempting it becomes to manipulate. To not leave it to chance.

But if your idea is as good for them as you say, why would you need persuasion? What is persuasion adding that the truth isn’t?

That’s a much higher ambition than getting to yes through persuasion.

Because when you finally get their yes, it will be with full conviction.

Let’s put it that way:

Honesty forces me to find what’s worth saying.
Empathy forces me to make it worth hearing.
Trust forces me to stand behind it.

That’s the communication strategy I believe in.

I’d rather light the path than push people down it.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

Do you dare to ask that question?

There’s one question that’s almost ridiculously obvious to ask. And yet, in so many meetings no one dares to ask it. It’s this:

→ Wait a second, what’s actually true right now?

When Alan Mulally took over as CEO of Ford, the company was a mess. They were heading toward a $17 billion loss.

But that wasn’t their biggest problem. Because most problems can be fixed.

As long as you know what the problem is.

Not knowing that was Ford’s problem.

They were using the infamous traffic lights system that every team on this planet hates. And they were the quintessential example for why everyone hates it.

Mulally tells a fascinating story about his experiences with it in this video from a Stanford lecture.

In their progress meetings, they had only green charts.

Not a single issue was marked.
Not a single risk was marked.
Nothing.

It was all green.

Now, that is obviously BS (and everyone knows it). But the culture at Ford was so broken that no one dared to flag an issue. Everyone thought that when you flag you get made responsible for it. And you don’t want to live through the consequences of that.

So, even the most senior team members, masked issues to make them appear green.

The brilliance of Mulally wasn’t that he found the solution for the $17B loss. It was that he changed the demonization of the colors red and yellow.

At one point, he stopped the meeting and asked the line you see in the visual.

All the charts are green. I stopped the meeting and I said, Guys, we’re gonna lose $17 billion, is there anything that’s not going well?

You should really watch the video I linked to above. He’s a great storyteller and the way he tells how the situation unfolds is hilarious and eye opening at the same time.

A few more words from Mulally:

“You weren’t red, the issue you’re working on is red.”
It’s a leadership failure if you confuse the two.

“The data sets you free, right? Data tells you everything.”
Honestly, I take this as a shot against the storytelling industry. Stories are great if they serve the data. They are terrible if they dilute it. The spin we saw at Ford was storytelling at it’s worst.

“You can’t manage a secret. People can’t help if they don’t know what the real situation is.”
As it turned out, people were happy to help. Which is what ultimately turned Ford around. Because together you can achieve more than anyone ever could alone.

What happened after that pivotal meeting?

A few weeks later the charts looked like a rainbow. Not because things got worse, but because people finally told the truth.

And so, that meeting was the turning point. The moment Ford stopped pretending and started facing the truth.

In 2009 Ford reported a full-year net income of about $2.7 billion.

That is the power of a leader who makes it safe to show what is true.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

PS: The latest issue of “What the Best Leaders Say” goes deeper into the same question that unlocked the Ford turnaround. What is actually true right now? If you want to explore how leaders surface truth without fear, here’s the link.

How to deliver hard truths

Some leaders sugarcoat the truth because they think it’s kinder.
But sugar melts. And when it does, all that’s left is a sticky mess.

One of the reasons they soften the bad news is because they want to protect their people.

They think a spoonful of sugar makes it easier to handle.

But here’s the problem: when the coating melts (and it always does), what’s left is the mess: the sense that something’s missing, that something doesn’t quite add up.

The wondering that now follows is often worse than the truth.

People will try to piece things together. And pretty quickly, the version that spreads in their conversations sounds much scarier than the real story ever was.

That’s why I always prefer clarity. Transparency. Honesty.

It might not taste as sweet as the sugared version.
But it’s far healthier.

Trust me: People can handle the truth.
Doubt is a lot harder to handle for them.

It makes people sick.

So if you want to light the path, don’t sweeten the truth.
Say it as it is. Plain and simple.

To me, that’s way kinder than serving a spoonful of sugar.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

You know what freaks out most leaders about clarity?

It’s not the risk that people won’t get it
And it’s not the vulnerability of being transparent.

It’s this: when you’re 100% clear, you have to trust your audience.

Because clarity takes away your hiding places.
No jargon to make things sound bigger than they are.
No clever detours to keep options open.
No endless slides to “prove” the point (read: hide the fact that you’re not trusting it yourself).

When you’re clear, you hand the audience the full picture.
And then it’s on them.
To get it.
To judge it.
To decide what to do with it.

That’s the scary part.
Because deep down, many leaders don’t trust their people to see what they see.
So they try to control the outcome by adding more, by polishing more, by persuading harder.

But here’s the paradox:
The less you trust your audience, the less they’ll trust you.
And the more you trust them, the more they’ll rise to it.

That’s why clarity is an act of leadership courage.
It says: Here’s the truth. I trust you to act on it.

Of course, this only works if you’ve put in the work and listened rigorously before you speak.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

What deserves their attention?

Stop asking how to get their attention.
Start asking if you deserve it.

For decades, businesses thought they had a simple answer:
Pay a salary, and you’ve earned someone’s time.
Give them a job, and you’ve earned their attention.
Put your logo on the wall, and they’ll follow your lead.

But it doesn’t work that way anymore.
Maybe it never really did.

People don’t give you their best thinking because of a paycheck.
They give it when they care.
When your message speaks to what matters to them.
When the goals feel like our goals, not just your goals.

If your words only reflect your own agenda,
all they’ll give you is compliance.
At best.

But if your words aligns with their personal ambitions,
you’ll earn something much more valuable.
Their trust. Their energy. Their ideas.

So instead of:
“How do I get their attention?”

… the more useful question is:
“What kind of leader deserves it?”

Keep lighting the path.

Do you mean it?

Most companies want to stand for something bigger.
Few actually do. Here’s how it becomes your strategic advantage.

It’s actually simple.
And one word summarizes it well: Commitment.
Mean what you say.

Do you?

So many businesses talk about values, purpose, the planet.
But how many of them actually mean what they say?
Most crumble at the first difficult trade-off.

Patagonia didn’t.
You’re probably familiar with their purpose:

“We’re in business to save our home planet.”

It sounds almost too idealistic to be true. But unlike almost every other business they mean it. For them, it’s not just a clever spin. It’s their actual business model.

And they made some bold moves most brands would never risk. For example:

A New York Times ad that begged you not to buy their jacket.
Mobile workshops that repair gear for free.
A legal structure that funnels every dollar beyond reinvestment straight into environmental work.

No, really! We mean it!

This level of commitment is hard to find elsewhere. But it’s one of eight patterns I’ve found when researching for my book The PATH to Strategic Impact.

Statements so bold other businesses will find them ridiculous.

This opens up a strategic advantage that’s hard to match because it’s a commitment so costly, other businesses would never dare to copy it.

And it’s a perfect example of the four PATH principles in real life: Plain and simple, Actionable, Transformative, and Heartfelt.

In the Clarity Lab, Harald Krytinar and I, will uncover more patterns of successful strategy communication.

We will dig into real examples from real businesses and pull them apart until we clearly see why they work and how you can adapt the pattern for you business.

Hope to see you there …

Keep lighting the path!

Hidden Priorities

What do you do when no one says what they really want?
Everyone cringes. But no one dares to name it.

One client put it this way:
“In our case, we have so many competing interests but people won’t openly communicate what they are.”
Ouch …

When people won’t name their priorities, it’s not just hard to align … it’s almost impossible to even begin.

Often, that silence is a symptom of fear.
→ Fear of being exposed.
→ Fear of losing influence.
→ Fear of making a bad deal.

Or simply:
→ Fear of being the only one to commit.

When that’s the atmosphere, simply pushing for agreement won’t work.

Even if people nod and politely smile during the meeting, it’s unlikely they will follow through.

What you need at this stage is not their agreement but their honesty.

But how do you create a space that makes people feel safe enough to be honest?

Often, that starts with one person naming the tension and inviting a shared direction.

For example, by asking something like this:

“Can we try to name what we do agree on — even if it’s only the bigger picture? Let’s see where we’re already aligned before we get stuck in the details.”

That kind of move shifts the focus.
From trade-offs to common ground.
From defensiveness to collaboration.
From protecting interests to building trust.

It won’t resolve everything. But it opens the door.

And sometimes, that’s all it takes — a few well-chosen words that help people see the possibility of standing together, not just apart.

The goal is to figure out what it would take for the people in your org to say: “Yes, that’s what we stand for, even if we still debate the details?”

So no, you can’t control the others.
But you can make the first move.
And the right words can give others permission to follow.

Sometimes, clarity begins with making others feel seen.

Keep lighting the path!

People trust you. But with what?

The moment you step into leadership, people start trusting you.
Not because you’ve earned it yet. But because they have to.

They trust you to set the tone.
They trust you to shape the culture.
They trust you to decide what matters.

Even before you say a word, they trust you with all of that.

The question is never if they trust you.
The question is: with what?

With their energy … or their compliance?
With their curiosity … or their caution?
With their voice … or their silence?

They trust you with the question: is it safe to care?
They trust you with the thought: will it matter if I speak up?
They trust you to show them if effort leads to progress or if it vanishes into a void.

Ignore this trust, and they’ll still follow.

But they’ll follow the unwritten rules, not your ambitions.
They’ll follow the fear, not the opportunity.
They’ll follow the safe path, not the bold one.

Leadership always sets the tone.
Whether you choose to, or not.

The question is:
what will you signal them to trust you with?

Through your actions …
And the words you use …

Keep lighting the path!

Get people’s attention

You’ve been told to get people’s attention.

As if that was the hard part …

But attention is cheap.
Everyone gets attention – for a second.
(If in doubt, throw money at the problem.)

But what happens after they notice you?
That’s where most messages die.

Picture a crowded room.
Voices everywhere.
(Could be LinkedIn, your meeting room, …)
Someone raises their voice, loud and sharp.

For a moment, everyone turns their heads.
But they’re already asking themselves:

→ “Do I trust where this is going?”
→ “Do I believe you see what I see?”
→ “Do I feel this is going to be relevant?”

If the answer is no, it doesn’t matter how polished your words sound.

People turn away again.

Because attention was never the actual problem.
It’s what happens after you get it.

How would your communication change if,
instead of fighting for attention, you focused on
earning their trust for what comes next.

Perhaps by showing, in every word, that
you understand their reality better than anyone else.

When they feel that, they lean in.
You’ve got their attention.
But more importantly, you’ve got their permission to guide them.

Keep lighting the path!

Deep conversations

You’re invited! The 3rd edition of “The Leaders Light the Path Session” will be on March 11th.

Pam wrote about the previous edition:
“I loved the depth, the conversation – how everyone listened – the intent in answering your questions and everyone else’s. Your summations were thoughtful, requiring us to dig deep.”

Others have called it a relaxed format and a great moment for reflection.

Don’t expect a lengthy presentation and over-complicated frameworks. We’re more interested in conversations and real, actionable ways to help you find better words.

This time, it will be all about clarity:

→ The shift that turns vague ideas into compelling messages
→ How to make your message easy to remember and impossible to ignore
→ How to say exactly what needs to be said… nothing more, nothing less

March 11th | 11am Eastern · 5pm CET | Zoom

Whether you want to drive change, unite people around a vision, or ensure your words spark action instead of hesitation, this session will help you communicate with irresistible clarity.

It’s highly interactive, in a small group setting with like-minded peers.

Would love to see you there.

It’s free but seats are limited! Reserving your spot is easy, though. Simply reply to this email (I prefer the process to be as plain and simple as possible).

Keep lighting the path!

Posts in Tag: Trust