This is going nowhere – or is it?
You’re in a meeting. The conversation circles back again and again. The same arguments keep getting made. The same concerns keep getting raised.
And no-one except you seems to notice.
In your head you think: “We’re stuck. Why can’t people just stop repeating themselves?”
It feels like failure. As if people don’t get it. Or worse, as if they’re blocking you on purpose.
But here’s what’s really going on.
Groups often get stuck not because the idea is unclear, but because the stakes are high.
Moving forward means someone takes a risk.
Someone loses control.
Someone exposes themselves to blame.
And so the safe move is no move.
Silence.
Circling.
Delay.
That’s not sabotage. That’s human.
We all do it when uncertainty feels bigger than clarity.
Pushing harder now rarely works. It’s like a knot. The more you argue, the more each side pulls, the tighter it gets.
But how do you get unstuck?
Not by adding more force. But by investigating the knot.
In other words, stop seeing stuckness as an enemy to defeat and start seeing it as a signal. A signal that something underneath hasn’t been resolved, hasn’t been spoken yet.
Maybe it’s fear.
Maybe it’s doubt.
Maybe it’s just exhaustion.
Once you see it that way, the work isn’t to “break through” with sharper arguments. The work is to create space for what hasn’t been voiced. To let people bring the unspoken into the open.
Which means that getting unstuck is usually not about pushing harder but about looking for (and listening to) what’s in the way.
Keep lighting the path!
PS: This post is also available as a podcast episode. Click here if you prefer to listen.