Every word you speak is a choice.
A choice that shapes the future.
It influences what happens in the next moment.
But it can also have lasting impact.
Words can connect or push away.
Build trust or exploit it.
Invite or close the door.
What future du you want your words to shape for someone else today?
Keep lighting the path!
When we have a conversation with a friend, we listen.
We give them space.
Try to understand what’s really going on.
See them. Hear them. Get them.
We don’t talk down to them.
We treat them with respect.
We don’t just tell them what they want to hear.
We tell them what they need to hear.
We are honest with them.
We don’t recommend something to a good friend when it benefits us.
We recommend it when we think that it benefits them.
But also, we laugh.
We have fun together.
We allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
And we’re patient.
What if you treated your audience that way?
PS: I’m doing a LinkedIn Live with Julian Treasure whose talk “How to speak so that people want to listen” is the 6th most viewed TED talk of all time. Join us on LinkedIn.
A strong indicator for whether you’re working in a company that values respect and ownership is to look at the way leadership and team refer to their relationship.
Is it “we, the leadership” and “you, the team”? (and vice versa)
Or is it “us, together”?
The former opens the door for blame. You didn’t do your job. That’s why this failed.
The latter encourages ownership. “We” – including “me” – need to figure that out together.
A little cheat sheet to hand out to your team to make presentations more effective.
We all spend so much time in meetings.
And so little time thinking about how to make the best use of this time.
Here’s an attempt at it:
I hope you find it useful.
Feel free to share, print it out, or hang it as a poster in your office.
What would you add?
PS: Here’s a PDF of the meeting cheat sheet.
That’s how long I wait.
After that I’ll leave the call and write a note asking if anything got in their way.
I always give a second chance. But not a third.
Fortunately, that rule is rarely needed.
How do you handle late comers and no-shows?
Who else is tired of speakers who waste our time with boring speeches that take forever but lead nowhere?
Who else thinks it’s disrespectful when speakers don’t take the time to prepare well?
Who else is done with selfish speakers who only show up to take advantage of the audience?
Relationships are built on respect and generosity.
Value your audience’s time and they will treat you accordingly.
It’s a simple dynamic. But it starts with the speaker.
Much like the idea of servant leadership has changed leadership, the idea of a servant speaker could do the same for speaking.
Who’s with me on that?
For extending a helping hand when you needed help yourself.
For lending an ear even though you had urgent stuff to do.
For asking the painful question that made a difference.
For going the extra mile when no one noticed.
For being a constant in a year of change.
For being kind when times were tough.
For being you.
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Wishing you a great day with your loved ones. Thanks for reading!
In a small software development company, the team has been working tirelessly for weeks to meet a crucial deadline. On the due date, the leader calls a meeting to review the work. Despite the team’s hard work, there are some bugs that need fixing. The leader, visibly irritated, addresses the team:
“Frankly, I am disappointed. This work is riddled with errors and it’s clear that there’s a lack of attention to detail. We’ll miss the deadline and our client will be furious. I expect everyone to work overtime until these issues are resolved. This is unacceptable.”
A different leader would have said:
“I appreciate the hard work and long hours everyone has put into this project. We’ve come a long way, and the client is excited about what we’ve developed so far. However, we have stumbled upon some bugs that need our attention. I believe in our team’s capability to resolve these issues and meet our client’s expectations. Let’s tackle these challenges head-on and show what we’re made of. I’ll be right here with you, and together, we’ll get this done.”
The words we use can make all the difference. Both in the way they affect our own thinking but also in the way we’re perceived by others and the impact that follows. They can confuse or provide clarity, demotivate or inspire.
Your choice!
When was the last time you said “Thank you!” to someone even though you didn’t have to?
A thank you that’s not only transactional but one that you actually meant.
A thank you that said “I see you”.
I see that what you do cannot be taken for granted.
I see that your job can sometimes be hard.
I see that even on a bad day like this you’ve shown up.
I see that you care although no-one ever says “thank you” to you.
I see this.
I see you.
Sometimes, that’s all a team needs from their leader. And a simple “Thank you!” might be all it takes.
In a fast paced world like ours, attention is among the most precious resources of any audience.
Which makes the ability to find the words that glue your audience to your lips (or their screen) invaluable when you’re a content creator.
And yet, as a content consumer there’s one thing I value even more: Getting to the point.
I appreciate a good story and I admire your skills in creating tension with your story. But I don’t appreciate you wasting my time with tension that leads nowhere, tension that’s just there to keep me hooked … and hooked … and hooked … and … you get the idea.
The creators I keep coming back to are the ones who value my time. They grab my attention and get me in quick. But they let me get out just as quick – at the earliest possible time, not the latest.
They give me the context I need. They give me the info I want. And then they trust me with the decision to come back tomorrow for what else they have to say.
Which I will. (Unlike with time wasters.)
