Practice Archive - This Moment Counts

The fear of practice

The single most avoidable mistake in speaking:
Skipping practice out of fear of making mistakes.

It breaks my heart every time I see someone avoid practice because they feel they aren’t perfect yet. They want to get perfect before practice (perhaps due to a nagging fear of embarrassment from making a mistake, even when the public isn’t watching.)

… and then they run out of time.

What a mistake!

Practice is that safe space where you can make an error without the consequence.

In a way, it’s the whole point of practice:
to learn about the errors so you can fix or avoid them.

The way to do this is not to play it safe in practice.
(Really, no one cares whether you’re flawless in practice.)

Instead, expose yourself to as many different scenarios as possible.

Those you prepared for.
But also those you didn’t prepare for.
Especially those.

Almost inevitably, you’re going to make a mistake or two.

How awesome is that?
Now you know and can prepare for it.

The beauty of practice is that you can take risks, but without the risk.

Make that error.
Learn from it.
Improve.
Repeat.

Playing it safe in practice is great way to fail when it counts.

How do you approach practice?

Two comedians

Recently, I’ve been to two shows by two different comedians.

The first show was sold out in a large event hall with 1500 seats. The second show sold only 50 tickets in a hall that can easily seat 500.

What a heart crushing moment that must have been for the second comedian. The hall was basically empty – it seems like no-one was really interested, right?

And yet, that’s not how she acted. She delivered as if the hall was full. She delivered a terrific show, interacted intensely with the people who were there and got standing ovations at the end.

The first comedian, the one in the large hall delivered, too. He performed brilliantly and he, too, got standing ovations.

Two things that are easily overlooked:

First, big acts usually start small, too. The sold-out comedian had his smaller shows in front of tiny crowds several years in the past.

Second, and maybe more importantly: great performers perform regardless. They don’t care whether one person shows up or a thousand. The ones who do show up deserve their best performance. And so they deliver their best performance.

The thing is this: Although it felt like no-one was interested due to the nearly empty hall, that’s not true. 50 people were interested. They might come back – and bring some friends.

How I wrote my first book

When my Physics course in (the german equivalent of) high school started, my teacher made us an offer: “For every single topic that we cover over the course of the next three years, you can hand me in a text covering what we learnt in your own words. I promise that I will meticulously proofread every text and give you feedback on how well you understand the material, how well it’s argued and how well it’s written.”

Three classmates took the offer, including me. Of those three, I was the only one to do this for every single topic. When I finished school, I had basically written a textbook on school physics, mercilessly edited by my teacher.

That practice has served me well ever since. I’m thankful for this opportunity and for the generosity that my teacher has shown.

I’m also baffled at how often people will just pass on opportunities to grow.

The fear of practicing

Most people feel at least a little anxiety when they think about their next talk. One of the nasty tricks of that anxiety is that it likes to extend itself to the act of practicing for the real thing.

As a result, some avoid practicing for as long as possible because the thought of practicing ignites the anxiety about the actual event. Which causes them to postpone practicing. Also, there’s another email they need to reply to, anyway, it’s really urgent.

The problem, of course, is that this makes things even worse. Because as the event approaches, they’re still just as unprepared as a week ago. Which only amplifies the anxiety. This, in turn, amplifies the stress that the thought of practicing causes because you know that practicing will surface what’s not working well – and you haven’t got much time left to fix them.

And yet, that was the point of practicing: to surface what’s not working well so that you can fix them in time and show up prepared. In fact, practicing is the only reliable approach that can prepare you for the actual event. Practicing is what makes you feel less anxious when you’re in the actual situation.

Here’s the crucial shift: Practice is a safe space. It’s like taking a risk, but without the actual risk.

How to become a virtuoso

Becoming a virtuoso is actually kind of easy: Practice slowly.

The hard part is patience. The patience to actually go as slow as it takes. And the patience to trust the process and stick with it until you’re there. (We’re talking a really long time of really long hours of practicing. Steve Vai, one of the guitar virtuosos of our time, is said to have practiced 12-15 hours each and every day.)

The fascinating part is that if you do show up with that patience it can feel as if there are no boundaries to what you can achieve.

For example, Steve Vai had this to say about his time with Frank Zappa’s band (whose live recordings wer aptly named “You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore”):

When the Zappa gig came along and he was like, “Can you play this?” I was like, “Of course I can play it.” ’Cause all you gotta do is work on it. Slowly, slowly, note by note. It was unfathomable to me that any guitar player couldn’t do it. And I realized why. They just didn’t have the chutzpah to sit there and work on it.

Do you have the patience to go slowly?

(Careful what you ask for, though, because Vai adds: “But that won’t make you a great musician.” Keep in mind that virtuoso and musician are rather different goals.)

Of course you hire a coach

When you’re an athlete, of course you’re working with a coach. Even the best athletes still have a coach. Actually, to be more precise, especially the best athletes do have coaches.

In sports, the cost of hiring a coach is considered to be part of the cost of doing business. No coach, no business. In fact, you’d be considered crazy to start any career in sports without a coach.

In business, that’s quite different. Most careers are started without a coach. The cost of working with a coach is often considered to be optional.

And yet, the benefits of working with a coach are just as obvious as in sports. Great coaches bring experiences you don’t have. Great coaches dig deep where you don’t have the time to do the same. Great coaches are on your side and root for you when times are rough. Great coaches help you find solutions when you’re stuck.

Really, the question is not whether you should hire a coach but which coach is a great fit.

For example, Shane Cradock helps you master your inner game so you can find the balance you need to make an impact.

Françoise Hontoy helps you navigate the complex dynamics of leadership to become the leader your organization needs.

Kathy Letendre helps you build excellence into the DNA of your organization.

If you need more clarity in the way you think, speak, and lead, I might be able to help.

First you hate ’em, then you love ’em

The leaders who push you to your best results are often the leaders who you hate in the moment but admire in hindsight.

As a teenager, I hated my guitar teacher. The degree to which he forced me to get it right, to adjust my fingers ever so slightly, to repeat the line over and over until I nailed it, to slow down even more etc. all of that was super annoying in the moment. I hated it.

But it also made me a way better guitar player. It allowed me to play tunes that others couldn’t because I was used to figuring out how to get it right. It’s what allowed me to play the joyful things. The cool licks.

Even today, some 30 years later, decades after I’ve dismissed the thought of turning pro, I’m still benefitting from what that teacher taught me. I can basically pick up the guitar today and discover new things each and every time.

Who was a leader you hated back then but admire today?

How do you push your team to do better?

Brilliance booster

When you hire a coach, it’s most likely because you want to improve your situation in some way. But there’s a huge gap between how bad coaches and good coaches try to achieve that.

Bad coaches try to make you feel less miserable.
Great coaches try to make you feel more brilliant.

Which means that both sit on opposite sides of a spectrum … it’s not that bad coaches are like great ones, just not as good. They are different.

Great coaches work from the assumption that you are brilliant and that you have both, the skill and the will, to achieve even more brilliant things.

Bad coaches work from the assumption that you are miserable and don’t really know what you’re doing. Thank goodness you called them so they can save you from that misery. This kind of coach often has way more answers than questions and they tell you what to do and what not to do. Because they know while you don’t. It’s an off-balance relationship where the coach thinks they are more brilliant than you.

Great coaches have a different approach. They establish a balanced relationship in which they are brilliant at what they do while you are brilliant at what you do. They usually have more questions than answers and help you find a way that allows you to grow from where you’re at. They don’t tell you what to do. They’ll figure it out with you. They use their brilliance to boost your brilliance.

(PS: If you want to learn more about how I approach coaching, just schedule a free discovery call.)

The effort required for a TED talk

So you want to give a TED caliber presentation. Are you willing to put in the effort?

Here’s how TED Curator Chris Anderson describes what it takes to be prepared to go onto the TED stage:

We start helping speakers prepare their talks six months (or more) in advance so that they’ll have plenty of time to practice. We want people’s talks to be in final form at least a month before the event. The more practice they can do in the final weeks, the better off they’ll be. Ideally, they’ll practice the talk on their own and in front of an audience.

Let’s summarize that. TED speakers:

begin to prepare 6 months in advance,
have the talk final one month in advance,
practice a lot in the remaining weeks.

When do you begin to prepare? How often do you practice the talk in its final version?

Really, what looks effortless is often the result of an enormous effort.

Open your eyes

Today’s as good as any other day to start becoming a better speaker. Here’s one step towards that:

Fire up YouTube and search for “great speech”. Choose one. It doesn’t matter which one. Any will do.

Note everything that you like about the speech. Describe why you think it works. Give the concept a name. And then think about how you could apply the same technique.

Also, note everything that you don’t like about the speech. Describe why you think it doesn’t work. Give the observation a name. And then think about what you would do differently.

Actually, that’s a method you can use every single day. When you look at or listen to a piece of communication, then occasionally look more closely than you normally do, observe what you notice, and learn from it.

Posts in Tag: Practice