influence Archive - This Moment Counts

The gold standard of influence

I’m sorry to have to inform you that persuasion is not the gold standard of influence. It’s evidence that your actual message is weak.

Because if it weren’t, why would you need to persuade?

I mean, I get the appeal. You can’t simply let the audience decide. That would feel like giving up control.

Persuasion promises control. Learn this or that psychological trick and people will bend to your will.

Until, of course, Mary and Joe learn the same tricks and now you are in an arms race for better manipulation tools. So, who’s in control now?

If everyone can access the same persuasion playbook, where is your advantage? Worse, the moment I realize you’re trying to persuade me, my defenses go up.

Resonance works differently because it’s a different premise: Instead of asking what my audience should do I figure out what they would (and what must be true for that to happen).

And then, I craft my message accordingly.

What do you think is more influential?

Tomorrow’s essay will break this down in actionable detail.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

Influence

True influence begins where force ends.

Force creates counter-force.
Push and people instinctively push back.

What’s worse, when the force stops, the actions stops.

What’s even worse, you’ll never know whether people actually support your ideas.

That’s not really influence, is it?
It’s control.

Well, of course that’s precisely what some managers will find attractive. But if you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’re not one of them.

True influence is when people choose to support you. It’s the result of a voluntary shift in belief, behavior, or perspective.

It can happen when
→ you earn their trust so they’re willing to hear you out.
→ you create clarity so they can see it for themselves.
→ you speak to what matters so it resonates deeply.

And then … you step back.
You let them decide.

When they make the choice to act, not because you pushed them,
but because they believed it was the right thing to do …

That’s true influence.

Keep lighting the path!

How could no one have thought of that?

Did you know that until the 60s, soda cans didn’t have a pull tab to pull them open?
You needed a separate tool to poke a hole (or better yet, two) so you could drink out of them?

Now, imagine the first time you’re holding a “new” can with that pull tab in your hand. Imagine being able to just pull it open instead of having to poke a hole in it.

Almost certainly, you would have been blown away.

Almost certainly, you would have thought: “Of course it’s supposed to work that way! How could no one have thought of that before? How could it take so long to invent that?”

That’s the “of course effect”!

It’s one of the most powerful effects in communication.

I mean, did you ever experience a speech that created an of course effect for your? Where you sat there and thought “oh my gosh, of course it’s supposed to work that way! How could no one have thought about that before?”

Wasn’t that an incredible feeling? Incredibly powerful?

That’s what you want to create for your audience!

Did you ever create an of course effect for your audience? I’d love to hear about it!

(Also, I would love to collect some more examples! Would you reply to this mail and share some examples?)

Equality

Some brilliant news from my client Phaedra Romney who took my masterclass 3 years ago.

Her new book is out now. It’s a heartfelt call for women to step up and leverage the power of influence in their careers. Although there’s been quite some progress, we’re still far from equality in the corporate world. We need more women in the top spots and Phaedra gives practical advice to help women achieve that. The book is currently available in Dutch, but I hope we’ll see an English version at some point.

After I reached out to Phaedra to congratulate her, I was very happy to learn that she made a direct connection to the masterclass and called it “a gift that keeps on giving”:

Thanks Pheadra, keep lighting the path!

The better story wins

From a communication angle, influence is a pretty simple game: Whoever tells the better story wins.

It’s not the most accurate facts, the most complete analysis, or even the best intentions.

It’s the best story.

Which means that if you care for the facts, the analysis, and the intention, you need to get better at weaving them into a compelling story.

If you don’t, the facts remain facts etc. … while other people’s stories connect to the audience.

PS: We need, of course, an understanding of what makes a story “better”. Would love to hear your take on that!

Sales is all about action

… and action results from thoughts.

Presentations are about changing thoughts and therefore, if done well, presentations are a great tool to move people to take action.

Obviously, the difficult part is to find – and then change – the thoughts that trigger the action. Understanding this relationship informs us about where to start:

What do your customers do currently? What action should they take? Why would they want to? Why don’t they already? What needs to change so that they will? How can we make them see it? Even better: feel it? …

These are much more powerful questions for a sales pitch than to start with a list of all your product features that your audience already knows from your sales brochure but didn’t act on.

The show is part of the substance

When you believe in better, it’s your obligation to speak with the clarity that’s required for your audience to resonate with your message.

Change requires being heard. It’s a huge misunderstanding – and a source of big frustration – for quite a lot of difference makers who make better things and then stop at making them. The resonance that their competition gets for their arguably inferior products by putting on a show feels like an unfair advantage to them. You’ll often hear them complain that “show” seems to be more important than “substance” to their audience.

It’s not, of course. Because the show is part of the substance.

Your audience doesn’t care for the things they don’t see or understand and it doesn’t have to. It’s not their obligation to see why your thing matters. It’s yours. Resonance is actually required to get results.

The good news is this: If your product really does change things for the better, then you’re in a much better position to make your message resonate. Because what resonates most is relevance. So, the actual unfair advantage is to make better things. Because better things create relevance. Then, turn relevance into resonance!

Posts in Tag: influence