flip Archive - This Moment Counts

Why the wrong approach feels so right (until it fails)

When people push back on your idea, what do you do?
You try harder. At least I did. But it backfired …

When my message wasn’t landing, I explained it again, added another detail, tweaked the wording once more.

And it felt good. Like I was in control of who’s right and who’s wrong. My effort meant I was making progress in proving it. Only that I wasn’t. I often made it worse.

Like so many others, I fell for the illusion of control:
(Over-)explaining → felt like clarity, but drowned out the point.
(Over-)crafting → felt like sharpening, but smoothed out what made it real.
(Over-)persuading → felt like getting closer to winning them over, but created distance.

The more I tried to control the conversation, the less control I actually had:
More detail = less convincing.
More refinement = less authentic.
More persuasion = more resistance.

And so, instead of making progress, I brought up people’s defenses. No one likes to be proved wrong, let alone being wrong.

Once I saw this, I saw it everywhere: By trying to force my angle, I was actually making it harder to align with.

Instead of, you know, making it easy to align with.

For example, instead of
… perfecting your words, you could listen for the ones they use.
… persuading, you could connect to what already makes sense to them.
… saying more, you could make what you say unmistakably clear.

All of this invites people to bring down their defenses. Which means you can stop persuading because you resonate.

How do you handle it when people resist your angle?

Keep lighting the path!

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PS: My new workbook “How to Say It So It Matters” contains powerful prompts to guide you there. Free for owners of “The PATH to Strategic Impact”, or just $5 for everyone else.

Does your message create an Of-Course Effect?

There are aha moments.
And then there’s an of-course moment.

Here are five signs yours has that potential:

✓ It catches people off guard.
It doesn’t just sound good. It’s an unexpected twist on something they always took for granted.

✓ It feels obvious in hindsight.
You can’t unsee it. It makes you wonder why you never put it that way before.

✓ You don’t need to sell it.
You say it out loud, and instead of resistance, you see people pause.
They don’t argue. They lean in.

✓ It keeps coming back.
Days later, the idea is still with you.
And when you test it in conversation, people repeat it back to you.

✓ It makes you want to act.
Not because you should, but because you can’t ignore it anymore.

When your message creates an of-course moment, it feels like a point of no return.

You have arrived. Or more precisely: your audience has arrived.

They don’t want to go back.

You can stop persuading because you’ve started to resonate.

The above checklist is taken from my new workbook which guides you to confidently check each box. It’s free for everyone who owns “The PATH to Strategic Impact” and only $5 for everyone else (get it here).

Is your message so eye-opening, it drives people mad that they haven’t seen it quite that way before?

Keep lighting the path!

How to say it so it matters

I’m excited to share something new with you today.

What makes a message matter?
I believe it comes down to three things:
→ It connects dots in ways that change how people see things.
→ It resonates because it feels true.
→ And it spreads because it’s worth repeating.

What would change if your message did that?
What if you could find words that make it truly matter?

I wrote a little workbook to guide you towards these words.

It’s filled with powerful prompts from 17+ years of working with my clients – questions that have helped them shift perspectives and resonate strongly.

It’s a workbook in the literal sense of the word. The info itself is a quick read, but it will be infinitely more useful when you actually do the work. Fill out the blanks. Answer the prompts.

The outcome will be very rewarding. Check it out!

Keep lighting the path!

PS: This is the first in a series of supplementary material for “The PATH to Strategic Impact”! But it’s just as useful as a standalone workbook on one of the most overlooked principles in communication, no matter what you want to communicate.

Posts in Tag: flip

Why the wrong approach feels so right (until it fails)

Does your message create an Of-Course Effect?

How to say it so it matters