The uphill battle

From what I hear from my clients, many find persuasion to be like pushing a boulder uphill — difficult and often frustrating.

Convincing others of something they’re reluctant to accept can be very exhausting, especially when you have to watch the boulder slide back down with every counter-argument.

Some even give up altogether, hoping others will “get it” on their own (which, of course, they usually don’t).

But what if the uphill battle isn’t the problem?
What if the idea of the uphill battle is the problem?

The need to persuade implies resistance, making it an uphill battle by default.

But does it have to be?
What if you could bypass resistance?
What if there was a path that isn’t going uphill?

That’s what resonance is about.

→ Not a smarter way to get the boulder up the hill, but an entirely different path.

To resonate means finding the right slope where your message rolls effortlessly, naturally gaining momentum as it connects with the thoughts and ideas of others.

There’s no need to push uphill when you align with the natural flow of your audience’s values and interests.

Sure, it may lead somewhere unexpected, but when you think about it, this place is where it truly belongs.

Because that’s the beauty of it. When you’ve found that slope, the audience no longer feels it’s your idea that they have to accept. It becomes a shared idea.

And that is often a better, richer, and more impactful place than you ever imagined on your own.

Don’t persuade harder, resonate stronger!

What’s your approach to persuasion?

From should to would thinker

Almost everyone starts their sales and pitch stories from this simple question:

“Why should the customer choose us?”

It looks perfectly innocent. And it makes so much sense. Just list all the reasons why the customer should choose you and – boom – it’ll become perfectly obvious: they should definitely choose you.

But, here’s another question:

Why would they?

Notice how different this one feels?

Yes, sure, they should choose you, but why would they?

It’s a one-letter difference, but the answers you’ll get to this version, are so much more powerful.

→ It shifts the focus from your perspective to theirs.
→ It changes the posture from entitlement to empathy.
→ It transcends assumptions in order to arrive at understanding.

“Should” is the lazy approach that everyone takes.

It avoids facing the uncomfortable truths the “would” will surface. Truths like the gaps between what you offer and what they truly need. Or whether they even see the problem the product solves.

“Should” feels safe, but it stays in your world.
What you believe. What you value. What you assume.

“Would”, however, is curious.
It steps out of your world and into theirs.
It wonders about their struggles, their dreams, their reasons.

And when you think like that, something incredible happens:
You stop persuading.
And start resonating.

Most importantly, you’ll build something they want to say yes to — not because they should, but because they truly would.

That’s the kind of thinker who inspires action.
Who creates impact.
Who lights the path.

So, which type of thinker are you?

Keep lighting the path!

You don’t have to

Here’s to the small moments.

→ The friend who asked, ‘How are you?’ and really meant it.
→ The colleague who said, ‘You’ve made this easy,’ and noticed the invisible work you put in.
→ The person who said, ‘I believe in you,’ which helped you believe it too.

They probably didn’t even realize how much it mattered.

But you did.
It stayed with you.
Maybe it even changed the way you showed up for someone else.

That’s the beauty of these small moments.
They ripple outward in ways we’ll probably never fully see.

But the best part?
It doesn’t take much to start one.
A smile.
A kind word.
A small gesture.
Or simply saying, ‘Thanks.’

The thing is this:
You don’t have to.
But you can.

Keep lighting the path!

Getting to yes

We’ve all been there: The perfect argument that completely fails to land.

→ You nailed that pitch, but never heard anything back.
→ You presented a brilliant idea, but it was immediately shot down.
→ You made a perfectly logical case, but it was met with nothing but blank stares.

But why?

Here’s the hard truth:
What makes sense isn’t always what feels right.

But when it doesn’t feel right, no amount of sense might be able to save your idea.


To circle it back to yesterday’s post:
Good reasons make sense.
Real reasons feel right.

Look for the real reason!

It isn’t always obvious. It’s often hidden in emotions, fears, ambitions, and goals that people don’t always articulate.

But when you uncover it:
→ resistance fades,
→ ears open up, and
→ the conversation changes completely.

You can stop persuading and start resonating.

How to win an election

I wrote the following because I believe there’s a deeper truth we’re missing:

You can’t outsmart feelings.
Or dismiss them.

Trying harder on each will only deepen the divide.

I don’t often comment on politics, but I can’t ignore what I’m seeing.

Hopefully it can help light a path forward that others will want to follow.
(It’s also applicable to marketing, leadership, well, actually communication in general.)

Please share it with anyone who needs to read it. There’s also a PDF version to download and forward.

How to Win an Election

Imagine you’re playing chess.
And you’re winning. Every move seems perfect.

But at the ceremony, you find out that the prize isn’t awarded to the player who checkmates the other.

Instead, the audience decides the winner. The crowd gets to vote. They are allowed to choose based on any criteria they want.

And … they choose your opponent.

That’s roughly what elections feel like when you believe you’re the good guy.

You think you’ll win when you just play by the “rules”. You think that all you need to do is to outsmart your opponent on the chessboard:
→ Exploit bad moves.
→ Counter their attacks.
→ Point out where they broke the rules.

But …

That’s not how the game is won.

Because: Every single voter is free to choose their own rules.

They’ll cast their ballot for whoever resonates with them. For whatever reason.

Their rules aren’t your rules.

In fact: For voters, there’s no rule except to choose.

That’s how Trump won.

Democrats pointed out where he broke the rules. They flagged it whenever he was
→ unfair,
→ dishonest,
→ wrong.

But they never seemed to ask the critical question: What criteria do people actually use when they vote?

Democrats were obsessed with Trump’s flaws. When they should have been obsessed with people’s feelings.

Their fears.
Their hopes.
Their worries.

Whenever they attacked Trump, they attacked people’s feelings.

You can’t beat someone with a mass following by focusing on why that person is wrong.

The only way to beat that person is to understand why their supporters support them.

I mean truly understand. Why do they support them?

Assume that there’s a good reason. Even if you wholeheartedly disagree with it.

Then: Dig deeper!

Understand how on Earth they could come to that conclusion.

Really, what led them there?
Calling them wrong and dismissing
their feelings is just lazy.

They are not you.

They have their reasons.
They’ve made their experiences.
Most importantly, their feelings are real.

Can you at least see them?
Or better yet, feel them?

Because that’s where you need to go.

Empathy is hard. You might not like what you discover. But it’s also the only way to find words that resonate.

That’s where the opportunity lies: If you understand what drives them deep inside, you can craft a better offer.

A message that resonates even stronger,
a story that meets those same needs,
but in a way the original source never could.

The truth is: It’s not on us to decide what resonates. It’s on the people. Only if we find their frequency, will it resonate.

What that means to me is that whenever your story doesn’t resonate as strongly as you hoped for, you need to
→ figure out why,
→ find a better frequency, and
→ tell a better story.

Never stop telling better stories.
Never stop offering an alternative.
Never let them take control of the stories.

Not to win a debate.

But to light a path that people can’t resist following.

When others persuade harder, we resonate stronger

When others persuade harder, we resonate stronger.

Where they try to push, we invite.

Because persuasion insists on being right.
While resonance seeks to get it right.

Therefore, persuasion needs force.
But resonance flows.

It listens for what’s already there.

People don’t crave more arguments.
They crave relevance.
They crave to be seen.

It’s not about pushing a point harder;
it’s about making people feel understood.

In the end, they don’t need to be convinced.
They’ll see it for themselves.

And when they do, they’ll make a choice.

Resonance isn’t forced.
It’s welcome.

How 11 heartfelt words revolutionized an industry

In 2006, Jos de Blok turned the Dutch healthcare market on its head. With a heartfelt conviction:

We can trust nurses to know what’s best for their patients.

A thought that’s so obvious, but apparently also very frightening to most healthcare leaders. At de Blok’s Buurtzorg community care organization, nurses work together in teams of 12. Without a manager.

Instead of having their work dictated to them, the nurses have enormous freedom in making decisions, big and small.

It’s a revolutionary approach to healthcare, built on a simple idea about how choices should be made in healthcare. But before we get deeper into that, let’s contrast Buurtzorg with what other organizations do. 

They build strategy around a very different idea: Control.

No matter
→ how skilled the team is,
→ how motivated they are,
→ or how much they care …
… without strict oversight, management believes the job won’t get done right.

So, their strategies are to
→ “optimize caregiver workflows.”
→ “standardize care plans.”
→ “provide effective healthcare at a reasonable price”

Which sounds professional. But it’s also hugely demotivating for the people doing the actual work.

Caregivers are trained professionals. Yet their decisions are always filtered through layers of management and channeled through strict procedures. As if those working directly with patients can’t be trusted.

There’s no space for freedom.
No room for passion.
No place for trust.

The thinking behind this is clear:
More control means better efficiency.

But does it?

And, perhaps more importantly, does it provide better care?

De Blok said “no, it doesn’t”. Therefore, he used a very – very – different strategy. And he stated the essence of it in just 11 words:

Always start from the patient’s perspective and prioritize their best interests.

De Blok believed that the individuals best positioned to do so, are those who directly interact with them. They can – and should – be trusted to make decisions in the best interest of the patients. Here’s the crucial difference:

Where others bet on directives from the top, de Blok trusted each team member with …
→ feeling,
→ understanding,
→ and most importantly: being passionate about

… the choices that need to be made.

Other businesses essentially (try to) force the team to make the right choices. To them, more rules means more control over the choices.

Micromanaging is the result.

Buurtzorg, however, trusts that the team will make the right choices if they believe in the choices.

Fewer but more heartfelt rules are the result.

It has led Buurtzorg to achieve staggering results. The company boasts the highest satisfaction rates among any healthcare organization in the Netherlands.

And it’s also more efficient: A KPMG study has found that if all home care in the Netherlands was provided using Buurtzorg’s model, it could save the Dutch healthcare system around 40 percent.

But make no mistake! That was only possible because de Blok precisely captured what drives the team: caring for patients! Their nurses don’t show up to follow a corporate mandate. They engage in a mission they deeply believe in.

Caring for patients is why they applied for the job in the first place. With every choice, they’re reminded of the difference they make in their patients’ lives. A continual source of motivation.

Pay attention to what a difference the wording makes. Buurtzorg’s strategy wasn’t to “provide effective healthcare at a reasonable price,” it was to “always start from the patient’s perspective and prioritize their best interests.”

The former is what businesses might care for; the latter is what nurses care for.

It speaks to their heart.

At the same time, it’s
→ plain and simple,
→ actionable,
→ and transformative.

Imagine if your team had that same passion and the impact that enabled. Every team member, in every situation, would be trusted to make choices that make a difference …

Want to learn how the right words can make your strategy heartfelt? Check out my new book, “The PATH to Strategic Impact.”

We’re gonna crush the competition

The CEO grabs the mic to announce the new initiative:

“Team, we’re gonna run a marathon. And it’s gonna be amazing. We’re gonna crush the competition.”

And immediately, about a quarter of the team cheers out loud. They love running, and a marathon is what they always wanted to do.

But the others? They fall silent.

Some of them aren’t good at running. Some of them outright hate it.

But the CEO insists: “We’re gonna do that marathon. It’s the way. Just believe!”

And eventually, that’s what the team does: they follow.

But no matter how hard the CEO tries to motivate them, some of them will never love running.

But you know what? Some of them love cycling and they’re actually good at it.

And so, what if he just let them cycle? Not only would they enjoy the path much more, they’d be much quicker than he could ever run.

Imagine just a little tweak in his language. What if he had said: “This is the path, but how you travel it is up to you. The goal is to get to the finish line.”

What a difference that makes, doesn’t it?

Not only will most of the team enjoy the journey much more, they feel empowered because they feel that the leader trusts them.

Now, how about your business? Where could you give a little more trust to the team?

Where could you light the path, but trust the team with knowing how to travel that path?

Keep lighting the path!

Inspire action where others struggle to command

Imagine a leader who doesn’t give a single direct order.

Not one.

But every day, their team lines up, ready to go above and beyond. No need to push. No need for reminders.

I saw this with a client once. Let’s call him Tom.

Tom didn’t walk into a room with a plan on a whiteboard and a checklist for everyone to follow. Instead, he’d show up with questions – simple, maybe even naive – and a spark in his eye.

“What do you think is possible here?” he’d ask.

And then he’d listen, really listen.
For hours, if needed.

Most leaders can’t stand the idea of “not knowing,” but Tom understood that people respond when you make space for their ideas.

When you make them the heroes of the journey.

He didn’t have to push; people wanted to move forward. They felt trusted, and that was the real catalyst. Every goal he reached, they achieved together—not because he commanded it, but because he cared.

And that’s the irony, isn’t it? When we hold back from commanding, we make space for something stronger to take root:
→ ownership
→ trust
→ loyalty

So, the question becomes: Do we have the courage to hold back?

Tom’s impact wasn’t through his own cleverness or force; he inspired by making his team feel seen and valued.

But here’s the catch: His curiosity was real. He truly cared for their perspective. And that made his team feel like the architects of their success rather than the builders of his.

Interestingly, Tom didn’t use “inspiring” words – not in the usual sense. No stirring speeches, no lofty vision statements. Instead, he chose words that were simple but powerful:
→ “What do you think?”
→ “What do you need?”
→ “What are we missing?”

Inspiring words don’t have to be grand. The words that make all the difference are often the humblest ones: “I trust you.” “What’s possible?”

Because when people hear words like those, they know you’re not just leading them—you’re counting on them.

And that changes everything.

An earthquake of an aha

Many people think about aha moments as these sudden flashes of brilliance, much like a lightning bolt from the sky.

But I tend to think that it’s much more like an earthquake, where there’s a lot happening beneath the surface before that moment of revelation.

When you think about it like this, you realize that it’s actually not really what you say that creates the aha, but much more what the audience feels when they finally connect the dots.

You’ve planted the seeds in their minds, but it was their brains who made them bloom.

What this also means is that the best aha moments happen when you don’t over explain, when you leave them the space to make their own leaps, when you give them time to let it brew up to that moment where it finally erupts.

Have you tried that?

Spread the Word

Picture of Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz