How to win an election

I wrote the following because I believe there’s a deeper truth we’re missing:

You can’t outsmart feelings.
Or dismiss them.

Trying harder on each will only deepen the divide.

I don’t often comment on politics, but I can’t ignore what I’m seeing.

Hopefully it can help light a path forward that others will want to follow.
(It’s also applicable to marketing, leadership, well, actually communication in general.)

Please share it with anyone who needs to read it. There’s also a PDF version to download and forward.

How to Win an Election

Imagine you’re playing chess.
And you’re winning. Every move seems perfect.

But at the ceremony, you find out that the prize isn’t awarded to the player who checkmates the other.

Instead, the audience decides the winner. The crowd gets to vote. They are allowed to choose based on any criteria they want.

And … they choose your opponent.

That’s roughly what elections feel like when you believe you’re the good guy.

You think you’ll win when you just play by the “rules”. You think that all you need to do is to outsmart your opponent on the chessboard:
→ Exploit bad moves.
→ Counter their attacks.
→ Point out where they broke the rules.

But …

That’s not how the game is won.

Because: Every single voter is free to choose their own rules.

They’ll cast their ballot for whoever resonates with them. For whatever reason.

Their rules aren’t your rules.

In fact: For voters, there’s no rule except to choose.

That’s how Trump won.

Democrats pointed out where he broke the rules. They flagged it whenever he was
→ unfair,
→ dishonest,
→ wrong.

But they never seemed to ask the critical question: What criteria do people actually use when they vote?

Democrats were obsessed with Trump’s flaws. When they should have been obsessed with people’s feelings.

Their fears.
Their hopes.
Their worries.

Whenever they attacked Trump, they attacked people’s feelings.

You can’t beat someone with a mass following by focusing on why that person is wrong.

The only way to beat that person is to understand why their supporters support them.

I mean truly understand. Why do they support them?

Assume that there’s a good reason. Even if you wholeheartedly disagree with it.

Then: Dig deeper!

Understand how on Earth they could come to that conclusion.

Really, what led them there?
Calling them wrong and dismissing
their feelings is just lazy.

They are not you.

They have their reasons.
They’ve made their experiences.
Most importantly, their feelings are real.

Can you at least see them?
Or better yet, feel them?

Because that’s where you need to go.

Empathy is hard. You might not like what you discover. But it’s also the only way to find words that resonate.

That’s where the opportunity lies: If you understand what drives them deep inside, you can craft a better offer.

A message that resonates even stronger,
a story that meets those same needs,
but in a way the original source never could.

The truth is: It’s not on us to decide what resonates. It’s on the people. Only if we find their frequency, will it resonate.

What that means to me is that whenever your story doesn’t resonate as strongly as you hoped for, you need to
→ figure out why,
→ find a better frequency, and
→ tell a better story.

Never stop telling better stories.
Never stop offering an alternative.
Never let them take control of the stories.

Not to win a debate.

But to light a path that people can’t resist following.

No further explanation

“What you said hurt me deeply.”
This needs no further explanation.

And yet, in an argument, how often do you bet on ever more explanations?

You disagree with your colleagues from the executive team.
Mails are gearing up.
Arguments build up.
Everyone feels deeply misunderstood.

More explanations follow.
Still no agreement in sight …

The explanations become longer …

More potential for misunderstandings …

When there’s actually not much to explain in the first place: What your colleague said during the partner meeting hurt you deeply.
That’s it.
This needs no explanation.

Actually, long explanations will likely make it worse.

So, instead of widening your argument why not focus it?
Go to a place where you can calm down, collect your thoughts, and focus.
Could be outside, could be in a quiet corner, could be at a café.

When you’re there, figure out:
So, what is it that I actually want to say? What is my point here?

That’s never 30 reasons. It’s often rather one, maybe two. Often even just a feeling.

And then, in your next reply, just make that point.
Say it as simply as possible.
And leave it at that.

Both, my clients and myself have often been amazed by the difference that makes.

What’s your experience?
Have you ever been frustrated with arguments where no one could find agreement, and everyone just kept overexplaining?

The graduation

A couple of days ago, my oldest daughter had her graduation ceremony.

And besides being a very proud moment for me as a dad, there was a profound communication lesson that I wanted to share with you.

Honestly, I was expecting the ceremony to be a rather boring afternoon, with three speeches that I expected to be the usual boring talks that you see at those occasions.

But it turned out very differently. The whole ceremony – and the talks in particular – was really enjoyable and a pleasant experience.

I think it boils down to two things.

First of all, in all three speeches (from the teachers, the school principal, and the student) the speakers used plain and simple language, getting rid of all the overly professional jargon and not at all trying to appear more eloquent than needs to be.

The other aspect might be even more important. They were really speaking from the heart, sharing messages that meant something to them personally. They didn’t try to be overly clever and smart. Just sharing their thoughts and feelings and addressing us as humans. A stark contrast to the “target group” focused approach of many business presentations.

I think we all can learn a lot from these two lessons. When we use more plain and simple language and speak from our heart, our communication will be a lot less boring and probably have a much bigger impact.

“You can’t be serious!”

“You can’t be serious!”

I’m pretty sure that this thought has crossed your mind more than once in meetings when someone you considered smart supported a (seemingly) nonsensical take.

Or when someone made an insane statement that seemed to contradict everything you consider common sense.

When this happens, instead of asking what’s wrong with them, I suggest to ask “What’s going on?”. For example, that person might
→ want to be seen by someone in the meeting.
→ want to belong to a certain (sub)group.
→ feel the need to negotiate their status with someone.

Things like that are sometimes not obvious if you’re deep down in the factual argument. But opening your eyes for it can help make sense of their take.

Once you see it, you’ll recognize that more rational arguments from your side won’t change their mind, if only because their take is not about logic at all (to be fair, it could be totally subconscious).

You’ll much rather need to find words that address the actual game they’re playing.

Which might mean asking more questions (as opposed to providing more facts). Or it might mean to ignore their take and turn your attention to the person that’s influencing the “irrational” take.

How do you handle seemingly irrational behavior in meetings?

The missing half of communication

There’s so much focus on how our audiences think that the second half of communication is often overlooked:

How does the audience feel?

Too many speakers only focus on the rational aspects.

They include more arguments,
find better reasons,
provide more data,
etc.

But ignore how all of that makes the audience feel.

The AHA moment happens when the emotional and the rational click into place, when it feels right and the brain agrees. Is that the case for your audience? Do you speak to both?

Even with a strong, logical case, it’s important to consider the emotional journey your audience undergoes. You’re missing out if you only speak to the rational side.

So how does your audience feel?
 What do you want them to feel?

And how do you shape your communication to achieve that?

Irrational audiences

If you are a rational person, chances are you’re sometimes deeply frustrated when people just don’t get it.

I’ve certainly been in the past.

I mean, sometimes it’s so obvious …

the logic is flawless …
the data clear …
but this guy almost refuses to get it.

That can be so frustrating.

Yet, there’s no point in complaining.

As much as we would like our audiences to be fully rational in their decision making, sooner or later we will encounter one that just isn’t.

That’s when logic won’t do the job.

I mean, of course you’re free to dismiss that audience.

But if that’s not an option, the only other option is to figure out a way to somehow resonate on an emotional level. Not to dismiss the logic (after all, it’s still valid), but to open a side door that allows the conversation to take place even if you can’t agree on the logic.

This is something I’ve seen brilliant people shy away from who devalue “emotional arguments” as, well, “irrational”. But I think that’s a mistake.

An emotional side door to the argument doesn’t devalue the rational main entrance. It doesn’t make the argument any less true.

But it allows people access to your insights that would otherwise have to stay outside.

The misunderstanding here is to consider rational the opposite of emotional. It’s not.

If you craft the emotional appeal in a way that is true to the logic, then it’s actually another facet of the same thing.

Give it a try!

How do you deal with a situation where people just don’t seem to get the logic?

How exciting is your pitch deck?

If you’re not excited by your pitch deck, chances are your audience won’t be, either.

It’s something that has always baffled me: how far some people will go to defend a mediocre presentation with rational arguments when there’s a very simple metric to decide whether you’ve nailed it:

Does it make you feel excited?

If it doesn’t, there’s no use in arguing that it contains all the facts. Or that it’s logically structured.

If all of that is true and it still doesn’t make you feel excited, it means that your story isn’t working.

Sometimes, it’s indeed because the facts aren’t right, but in my experience it’s much more often the words people use to speak about the facts that aren’t right.

How about your pitch? Are you excited by it?

Feels right

Some narratives just

won’t go away.
Why?

The data is clear.
Yet people believe the lie.
But why?

Because it feels right.
That’s why.

People aren’t good at feeling data.

That’s why it’s hard to compete on facts with a story that resonates on an emotional level.

If something feels right, we’re pretty good at coming up with good reasons for why it is right. If something just is right but feels wrong, that’s much harder.

Have you had that experience?
How did you deal with it?

I’m so excited

The crucial question that’s almost never asked when preparing a talk:

Am I excited?

Instead, preparation is dominated by “Does it make sense?”

Which is crucial, too. But does your gut agree? Are you excited?

Make no mistake: Logic is important! But the difference between good and great talks is often the passion that comes with the latter.

The good news is this: It’s not hard to find out whether you’re excited, is it?

“Does it make sense?” is tricky. You need research, fact checks, data, reasoning, etc.

But “Am I excited”?

That’s easy. Just listen to your gut. It’s an immediate answer.

Then, work with the answer:

If it’s a “yes”, go out there and light the path!

If it’s a “no”, dig deeper. What’s off? What’s missing? What’s just corporate speak that just isn’t you? Where could you be bolder? Shorter? More emotional?

That’s the beauty of it. You only need to start that process, even if it’s with the most boring story. If you let your gut guide you, you’re going to end up with a story that excites you – one that feels like this is how you always wanted to tell your story!

So, how excited are you about your story?

Gettin’ in the groove

“Good job,” the leader declares as the team meeting disperses.

The team members file out with a quiet that speaks volumes, another routine meeting has ended. Efficient in its execution, but lacking groove.

Groove – that hard to describe feeling that infuses energy and passion into the mundane. The element which turns a group of individuals into a dynamic team that dances to the rhythm of a common beat.

In its place was a mechanical march of agenda items.

The meeting had structure, it had purpose, but it lacked the soulful harmony of groove – the lightness, the drive that turns work into something more.

Contrast this with a different meeting. Imagine a space alive with the buzz of collaboration, where ideas are volleyed with the excitement of a well-played game. The leader in such a meeting is more a conductor than a commander, guiding the rhythm but allowing each member to play their unique part.

In a meeting with groove, the air crackles with the energy of possibility. Team members lean in, not back. They speak not just to relay information, but to contribute to a collective melody. Challenges are met not with resignation, but with the enthusiasm of problem-solvers in their element. And when the meeting concludes, it’s not with the emptiness of a routine farewell, but with the satisfaction of a song well sung, a job well done together.

The contrast is stark – on one hand, a meeting that ticks boxes but leaves spirits untouched; on the other, a gathering that moves beyond mere efficiency to resonate on a deeper, more meaningful level. In the end, it’s just a subtle difference, call it groove or energy or whatever you like, but it made a huge difference.

Efficiency creates relevance, but not always resonance.

In the absence of emotion, even the best-laid plans are just words in a room, echoing without a heart to hear them.

How about you? Have you ever experienced groove in a meeting?

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Picture of Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz