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The quiver in your voice when something truly matters

You know why most leaders lose their teams?
Because they talk like robots.

Perfectly polished.
But completely lifeless.

When you say, “We will leverage synergies to optimize strategic alignment,” what the team hears is white noise.

There’s no heartbeat in it.
No pulse.

It’s words that could have been written by anyone for anyone.
They tick all the boxes but light no spark.

But here’s the irony: most leaders don’t sound robotic because they don’t care. They sound robotic because they care too much.

They’re terrified of saying the wrong thing. So they soft-cushion every sentence to be as inclusive as possible.

Until nothing edgy remains.

But the moment you remove the risk, you also remove the resonance.

You can’t expect emotion when you refuse to show any.
You can’t move people when you hide what moves you.
You can’t build trust with sentences that sound robotic.

Talking like that is like trying to hug a machine. It might respond, but it won’t respond to you.

People don’t want leaders who sound perfect. They want leaders who sound real.

They want to hear the quiver in your voice when something truly matters.

They want to hear the passion when you’re truly excited about something.

So stop running your words through the corporate filter that kills everything human about them.

And start saying things the way you’d say them to a friend you deeply respect.

That’s the easiest way to not sound like a robot.
Simply let them hear that there’s a person speaking.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

The hardest, clearest, and most powerful form of leadership communication

You know what always gets a laugh? When someone suggests that leaders should speak more heartfelt.

People roll their eyes. They picture cheesy speeches. They hear syrupy words that feel fake. And they think, “That’s not for me. I’m here to get things done.”

But here’s the paradox:
→ The very leaders who dismiss it are often the ones who care the most.

They just never let that care show.

They talk about efficiency, KPIs, and shareholder value. All the while, what keeps them awake at night is something very different:
their team,
their customers,
their reputation,
their legacy.

The tragedy is not that they don’t care.

The tragedy is that nobody else can feel it.

And when people can’t feel it, they don’t follow.

The problem might be a misunderstanding about what heartfelt actually means.

Heartfelt communication is not about layering on emotional fluff. It’s not about adding dramatic pauses or swelling background music.

It’s about something far simpler, and far braver:
Using words you actually believe in about the things you deeply care for.

Words that reveal what truly matters to you.
Words that make it impossible to mistake what you stand for.

Because when your team hears those words, they hear more than a leader. They hear a human being they can trust. They hear a direction that feels real. They hear a reason to care as much as you do.

So if you laugh off heartfelt communication, you’re not avoiding weakness. You might be avoiding the very strength that would make people want to walk the path with you.

That’s the irony.
Heartfelt is not soft.
It is the hardest, clearest, and most powerful form of leadership communication.

And that’s why it’s crucial to the four PATH principles.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

Most communicators get aha moments wrong

They think an aha is the reward for building this flawless argument.

Neatly stacked.
Logically airtight.

And sure, logic matters. People need to understand what you’re saying.

But.

Understanding is not enough. It’s only half the deal.

The other half is how it feels.

Does it resonate? Does it feel like it belongs in their world, not just in your head?

The real aha moment is when those two sides snap together.
When it makes sense and it feels right.
When the gut screams “yes” and the mind marvels at how it all just falls into place.

That’s when the penny drops.
That’s when the light bulb goes on.

You’re missing out if you focus on the rational side alone.

And honestly, chances are you’ll never truly move anyone.

Because most people don’t live in arguments.
They live in feelings, ambitions, and (yes) fears.
If you don’t reach them at this level, you won’t reach them at all.

But reach them at both levels and the aha is almost inevitable.

Keep lighting the path,
Michael

Explaining the map

Most people treat communication like using a map.

They explain where everything is, how to get there, and quite a number of other details …

That’s clarity.

But some communicators know that’s not enough. Instead of telling you how to get there, they actually take you there.

Or at least that’s what it feels like when you listen to them.

For years, I thought the goal was to explain things clearly. Structure my argument, make it easy to follow, find slick words.

And yeah, sometimes that worked. But too often it didn’t.

Nothing really changed.

The harsh truth is if your message isn’t changing how people see things… it might as well not exist.

I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to feel that gap, that frustration of knowing you have something important to say but then seeing it’s just not getting through.

That’s why I put together a little workbook to complement my latest book “The PATH to Strategic Impact”. It’s a workbook in the literal sense of the word and it contains the exact prompts that have helped me and my clients find words that don’t just explain but take people there.

If you’ve ever felt that gap between what you say and what actually lands, I hope that this workbook can help you see a different path.

Get it here.

How to win an election

I wrote the following because I believe there’s a deeper truth we’re missing:

You can’t outsmart feelings.
Or dismiss them.

Trying harder on each will only deepen the divide.

I don’t often comment on politics, but I can’t ignore what I’m seeing.

Hopefully it can help light a path forward that others will want to follow.
(It’s also applicable to marketing, leadership, well, actually communication in general.)

Please share it with anyone who needs to read it. There’s also a PDF version to download and forward.

—

How to Win an Election

Imagine you’re playing chess.
And you’re winning. Every move seems perfect.

But at the ceremony, you find out that the prize isn’t awarded to the player who checkmates the other.

Instead, the audience decides the winner. The crowd gets to vote. They are allowed to choose based on any criteria they want.

And … they choose your opponent.

That’s roughly what elections feel like when you believe you’re the good guy.

You think you’ll win when you just play by the “rules”. You think that all you need to do is to outsmart your opponent on the chessboard:
→ Exploit bad moves.
→ Counter their attacks.
→ Point out where they broke the rules.

But …

That’s not how the game is won.

Because: Every single voter is free to choose their own rules.

They’ll cast their ballot for whoever resonates with them. For whatever reason.

Their rules aren’t your rules.

In fact: For voters, there’s no rule except to choose.

That’s how Trump won.

Democrats pointed out where he broke the rules. They flagged it whenever he was
→ unfair,
→ dishonest,
→ wrong.

But they never seemed to ask the critical question: What criteria do people actually use when they vote?

Democrats were obsessed with Trump’s flaws. When they should have been obsessed with people’s feelings.

Their fears.
Their hopes.
Their worries.
…

Whenever they attacked Trump, they attacked people’s feelings.

You can’t beat someone with a mass following by focusing on why that person is wrong.

The only way to beat that person is to understand why their supporters support them.

I mean truly understand. Why do they support them?

Assume that there’s a good reason. Even if you wholeheartedly disagree with it.

Then: Dig deeper!

Understand how on Earth they could come to that conclusion.

Really, what led them there?
Calling them wrong and dismissing
their feelings is just lazy.

They are not you.

They have their reasons.
They’ve made their experiences.
Most importantly, their feelings are real.

Can you at least see them?
Or better yet, feel them?

Because that’s where you need to go.

Empathy is hard. You might not like what you discover. But it’s also the only way to find words that resonate.

That’s where the opportunity lies: If you understand what drives them deep inside, you can craft a better offer.

A message that resonates even stronger,
a story that meets those same needs,
but in a way the original source never could.

The truth is: It’s not on us to decide what resonates. It’s on the people. Only if we find their frequency, will it resonate.

What that means to me is that whenever your story doesn’t resonate as strongly as you hoped for, you need to
→ figure out why,
→ find a better frequency, and
→ tell a better story.

Never stop telling better stories.
Never stop offering an alternative.
Never let them take control of the stories.

Not to win a debate.

But to light a path that people can’t resist following.

No further explanation

“What you said hurt me deeply.”
This needs no further explanation.

And yet, in an argument, how often do you bet on ever more explanations?

You disagree with your colleagues from the executive team.
Mails are gearing up.
Arguments build up.
Everyone feels deeply misunderstood.

More explanations follow.
Still no agreement in sight …

The explanations become longer …

More potential for misunderstandings …

When there’s actually not much to explain in the first place: What your colleague said during the partner meeting hurt you deeply.
That’s it.
This needs no explanation.

Actually, long explanations will likely make it worse.

So, instead of widening your argument why not focus it?
Go to a place where you can calm down, collect your thoughts, and focus.
Could be outside, could be in a quiet corner, could be at a café.

When you’re there, figure out:
So, what is it that I actually want to say? What is my point here?

That’s never 30 reasons. It’s often rather one, maybe two. Often even just a feeling.

And then, in your next reply, just make that point.
Say it as simply as possible.
And leave it at that.

Both, my clients and myself have often been amazed by the difference that makes.

What’s your experience?
Have you ever been frustrated with arguments where no one could find agreement, and everyone just kept overexplaining?

The graduation

A couple of days ago, my oldest daughter had her graduation ceremony.

And besides being a very proud moment for me as a dad, there was a profound communication lesson that I wanted to share with you.

Honestly, I was expecting the ceremony to be a rather boring afternoon, with three speeches that I expected to be the usual boring talks that you see at those occasions.

But it turned out very differently. The whole ceremony – and the talks in particular – was really enjoyable and a pleasant experience.

I think it boils down to two things.

First of all, in all three speeches (from the teachers, the school principal, and the student) the speakers used plain and simple language, getting rid of all the overly professional jargon and not at all trying to appear more eloquent than needs to be.

The other aspect might be even more important. They were really speaking from the heart, sharing messages that meant something to them personally. They didn’t try to be overly clever and smart. Just sharing their thoughts and feelings and addressing us as humans. A stark contrast to the “target group” focused approach of many business presentations.

I think we all can learn a lot from these two lessons. When we use more plain and simple language and speak from our heart, our communication will be a lot less boring and probably have a much bigger impact.

“You can’t be serious!”

“You can’t be serious!”

I’m pretty sure that this thought has crossed your mind more than once in meetings when someone you considered smart supported a (seemingly) nonsensical take.

Or when someone made an insane statement that seemed to contradict everything you consider common sense.

When this happens, instead of asking what’s wrong with them, I suggest to ask “What’s going on?”. For example, that person might
→ want to be seen by someone in the meeting.
→ want to belong to a certain (sub)group.
→ feel the need to negotiate their status with someone.

Things like that are sometimes not obvious if you’re deep down in the factual argument. But opening your eyes for it can help make sense of their take.

Once you see it, you’ll recognize that more rational arguments from your side won’t change their mind, if only because their take is not about logic at all (to be fair, it could be totally subconscious).

You’ll much rather need to find words that address the actual game they’re playing.

Which might mean asking more questions (as opposed to providing more facts). Or it might mean to ignore their take and turn your attention to the person that’s influencing the “irrational” take.

How do you handle seemingly irrational behavior in meetings?

The missing half of communication

There’s so much focus on how our audiences think that the second half of communication is often overlooked:

How does the audience feel?

Too many speakers only focus on the rational aspects.

They include more arguments,
find better reasons,
provide more data,
etc.

But ignore how all of that makes the audience feel.

The AHA moment happens when the emotional and the rational click into place, when it feels right and the brain agrees. Is that the case for your audience? Do you speak to both?

Even with a strong, logical case, it’s important to consider the emotional journey your audience undergoes. You’re missing out if you only speak to the rational side.

So how does your audience feel?
 What do you want them to feel?

And how do you shape your communication to achieve that?

Irrational audiences

If you are a rational person, chances are you’re sometimes deeply frustrated when people just don’t get it.

I’ve certainly been in the past.

I mean, sometimes it’s so obvious …

the logic is flawless …
the data clear …
but this guy almost refuses to get it.

That can be so frustrating.

Yet, there’s no point in complaining.

As much as we would like our audiences to be fully rational in their decision making, sooner or later we will encounter one that just isn’t.

That’s when logic won’t do the job.

I mean, of course you’re free to dismiss that audience.

But if that’s not an option, the only other option is to figure out a way to somehow resonate on an emotional level. Not to dismiss the logic (after all, it’s still valid), but to open a side door that allows the conversation to take place even if you can’t agree on the logic.

This is something I’ve seen brilliant people shy away from who devalue “emotional arguments” as, well, “irrational”. But I think that’s a mistake.

An emotional side door to the argument doesn’t devalue the rational main entrance. It doesn’t make the argument any less true.

But it allows people access to your insights that would otherwise have to stay outside.

The misunderstanding here is to consider rational the opposite of emotional. It’s not.

If you craft the emotional appeal in a way that is true to the logic, then it’s actually another facet of the same thing.

Give it a try!

How do you deal with a situation where people just don’t seem to get the logic?

Spread the Word

Picture of Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz