Effort Archive - The Art of Communicating

Making it feel effortless

Great communication often feels effortless.
Even though it’s usually far from it.

It takes significant effort to make your communication feel effortless.

Interestingly, much of that “effort” involves learning to let go …

… most importantly of the urge to impress.

The urge to impress leads us to try harder than we need to.

For example, we look for words that sound more spectacular. Somehow we don’t trust in the idea to stand on its own.

We look for gestures to signal more confidence. Somehow we don’t trust in our appearance to signal that on its own.

But it feels unnatural. We don’t believe in these words ourselves. And the gestures? Don’t feel like us.

Which means. Even more effort.

The great communicators I’ve met throughout my career break that pattern. They look not for fancier words but clearer words. Usually that means simpler words.

They don’t look for body language to mask their lack of confidence but for words that boost their confidence. So that they can show up as someone who actually believes in what they say.

It took them effort to get there. The words you truly believe in aren’t always easy to find.

But when you do find them, they help tremendously in making your communication feel effortless.

What if you couldn’t fail?

Yesterday, my friend Shane Cradock asked “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

It’s a powerful question and I’d like to dig a little deeper on it.

It helps to set aside our fears for the moment and think about the things that can be done if only there was no fear, no obstacles, no setbacks …

Now, if we look a little closer at the list of things that come up as an answer, it turns out that there’s an interesting subset of answers that stands out.

The ones that also answer this question:

“What would you do even if you knew you would fail?”

These are the things that we wholeheartedly want to do; things that are driven by our values and beliefs; things that deeply matter to us and that we believe carry the potential of making such a difference that it’s worth the hassle even if we wouldn’t succeed; things we would never compromise.

It’s the sweet spot in the set of answers that Shane has encouraged.

They might not have surfaced without the first question.

But now that they’re there, why not go for it?

Effortlessness

Looking at masterful communicators, you could get the feeling that they have a natural talent for communication, some sort of unfair advantage to find the words that always seem to nail it.

Yet, the truth is that it’s neither unfair nor a talent they were born with.

What makes it appear unfair is their will to rigorously figure things out. To not settle with confusing language or unclear messaging but instead look for ever more compelling ways to tell their story.

What makes them appear as natural born talents is the fact that their communication feels so effortless. Yet, remember that effortlessness is usually the result of an immense effort. It’s rigorous preparation that lets you appear as though you didn’t have to prepare.

I’ve written the “Leaders Light the Path” manifesto as a reminder of what you can achieve if you are willing to put in that kind of an effort.

If you find it useful, please share it with a friend.

PS: Do you have an important story to tell? I’d love to hear it.

Two comedians

Recently, I’ve been to two shows by two different comedians.

The first show was sold out in a large event hall with 1500 seats. The second show sold only 50 tickets in a hall that can easily seat 500.

What a heart crushing moment that must have been for the second comedian. The hall was basically empty – it seems like no-one was really interested, right?

And yet, that’s not how she acted. She delivered as if the hall was full. She delivered a terrific show, interacted intensely with the people who were there and got standing ovations at the end.

The first comedian, the one in the large hall delivered, too. He performed brilliantly and he, too, got standing ovations.

Two things that are easily overlooked:

First, big acts usually start small, too. The sold-out comedian had his smaller shows in front of tiny crowds several years in the past.

Second, and maybe more importantly: great performers perform regardless. They don’t care whether one person shows up or a thousand. The ones who do show up deserve their best performance. And so they deliver their best performance.

The thing is this: Although it felt like no-one was interested due to the nearly empty hall, that’s not true. 50 people were interested. They might come back – and bring some friends.

Not so easy

Most questions that are worth investing the time to prepare a presentation for don’t have an easy yes-or-no answer.

If there would be an easy answer, we wouldn’t even bother with gathering everyone in a room. We would just send a memo to inform everyone about the answer.

One of the problems with meetings is that a lot of trivial stuff gets disproportionately overblown and floods the attention of participants. So, they tune out. And start not paying attention to presentations.

Another problem with meetings is when you pretend that there is an easy answer when in fact there isn’t. That’s a huge potential for frustration and a great way to start into fights.

Treating the team as smart takes you a long way. Some things are complex.

Smart teams don’t need complex things dumbed down. They need a way to make the complexity accessible. They need simple words to explain difficult concepts. And even then they appreciate it when we acknowledge that there’s room for different opinions on the matter.

Now it’s clear, now it’s not

As we make progress, things tend to become more complex. Even if we started from a position of total clarity, new ideas pop up, new paths want to be explored, and generally, times change – so we need to adapt.

Along our journey, it’s important to regularly remind us about what matters most, what’s non-essential, and who it’s for. A couple of questions that you can ask:

Are our actions still in line with what we want to be known for?
Or have we become distracted by all these new ideas popping up? Maybe it’s time to change direction but it’s more likely that we need to remind us about where we’re headed and how the new idea fits into this path.

Are we still doing what’s most important?
Or have we become distracted by the urgent? Daily business is a beast. It just keeps coming and coming. And quicker than we can say “non-essential” our schedule is filled with all sorts of non-essential stuff. Don’t forget to strip the non-essential when you’re already on the path.

Are we still pushing back the Curse of Knowledge?
The more we tell our story, the more we become accustomed to the way we tell it. This opens the floodgate for new blind spots to build. Constantly check with your audience and with your partners whether everything you say is clear to them. And don’t forget to open your eyes for better ways to say the things you’ve been saying for so long.

Are we still boosting our impact?
What used to work isn’t guaranteed to keep on working. Are the boosters we discovered still the best way to boost our message? Or do we have to look for new ways? Maybe, we saw something on Instagram or YouTube that clicked for us and that we can adapt to our style to boost our own message.

How often Messi fails

Every shot that Messi didn’t make, wasn’t a goal.

He only ever scores when he shoots at the goal. Which he does.

Most importantly, he’ll frequently shoot despite the possibility that it might be a miss. Rather frequently, actually: he scores only 1 out of 8 attempts.

In other words: he fails almost 88% of the time.

And yet, he is admired as one of the best scorers who ever played football.

When we speak of geniuses, this is an aspect that’s often overlooked: Most geniuses don’t fail less, the fail more. Simply because they try more often.

But more attempts mean more possibilities for a hit.

It’s a mistake to only attempt a shot if you are 100% certain that it will be a goal.

The language of Clarity

If you’re not used to it, speaking with clarity is like speaking in a foreign language that you’ve recently started to learn. It’s hard to find the right words and you need to slow down significantly.

But, of course, just like other languages you can learn it.

It requires
i. learning the vocabulary so that you know how to replace complex words with simple ones and
ii. actively using them.

In other words: just like with any other new language you learn, you need to practice speaking it.

The difference to other foreign languages, of course, is that reading something that’s clear is not at all difficult. Unlike other foreign languages, you immediately understand something that’s written in Clarity.

“I kind of like to be doubted.”

Sounds like a healthy way of living when you’re Mark Zuckerberg who is probably among the most doubted people on Earth, don’t you think?

But how about you? Do you like to be doubted?

Wait a moment before you answer, let’s take a step back first.

What makes Zuckerberg say “yes”? I mean, really, he didn’t just say that he doesn’t mind to be doubted, he explicitly said that he likes to be doubted.

For him, every time someone doubts him, it’s an offer to find more clarity:

Is the doubt justified? Fix the problem or change course.
Is the doubt unjustified? Fix your communication.

A doubt is an invitation to think deeper and question whether the assumptions you’ve made are correct, whether the conclusions you’ve drawn are reasonable, and whether your communication is as clear as it can be.

So, do you like to be doubted?

The sweet spot

The sweet spot for running a sustainable business is to do things that
i. you are deeply passionate about,
ii. unbelievably good at and
iii. can make a healthy profit from.

Three common misconceptions about the sweet spot:
No. 1: Because it’s your passion, it’s not hard work.
No. 2: Because you’re good at it, it’s easy.
No. 3: Because people pay you, it’s profitable.

All three can be true. But you shouldn’t count on it.

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