The time it takes to figure out what you meant
“That’s definitely a super creative approach! I just feel like, given the current direction, it might be a little bit of a detour? Maybe we could try to stick sort of closer to the original plan for just a bit longer?”
We tell ourselves we use softeners to be polite.
But that’s a lie.
We don’t use softeners for THEM.
We use them for US.
We use them to buy emotional safety.
And the team is paying for it in lost time.
In my experience, the problem usually comes from confusing blunt and direct.
The blunt version of the above is: “That’s a stupid idea.” But blunt is just one way to speak without softeners. I’d call it clarity without care. It attacks the person and devalues their effort.
The alternative is clarity with respect. For example, you could say: “We aren’t going to do that because it doesn’t align with our Q1 goals.”
Neutral, focused, and direct.
How many softeners have you used today?
Keep lighting the path,
Michael