The biggest reason for stage fright

The biggest reason for stage fright is not what you think it is.

It’s not the size of the audience or the prestige of the event.

It’s not that you don’t have a commanding presence on stage.

It’s not that you’re not funny enough or can’t tell engaging stories.

It’s also not the complexity of the topic you are speaking on.

Nor that you haven’t practiced enough.

And it’s not that you haven’t attended enough public speaking workshops.

Although all of that can contribute.

But none of it is the root cause! The root cause is this:
You don’t believe in the words you use!

None of the usual advice will fix this. That’s why it can’t work. If you don’t believe in your words, any body language tip will have to work against your belief. It only adds to the stress.

But here’s the good news:

When you find words you truly believe in about the things you deeply care about, nothing else will matter!

Solve that problem, and you’ll solve the others, too.

PS: I wrote a little eBook on how to do that. It’s called: Speak Easy and it’s a short read with a pretty unusual take. If you haven’t done so already, download it here for free: https://michaelgerharz.com/speak-easy

How confident are you as a speaker?

You are backstage.

Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy.

In other words: You’re just plain terrified. Stage fright has got you in its grip and it’s squeezing hard.

Public speaking is the monster under the bed for grown-ups. It’s that universal fear that sends shivers down the spine of some of the boldest leaders.

Their powerful voices suddenly feel weak. Their decisive stride seems uncertain. Their usual commanding presence fades into doubt. Backstage, the bold leader is no longer a tower of strength.

Almost certainly, you’ve been hit with advice to conquer that fear. But in my experience, most of that advice actually achieves the opposite. It doesn’t make you feel less nervous but more.

Huh? More nervous? Let me explain …

Often, it’s quite a beast in terms of things you have to consider and do in the correct order: Deep breaths, power stance, eye contact, pacing, how to hold your hands, how to stand, when to smile, … 

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg …

What’s worse is that all of this is on top of actually having to remember what you wanted to say. (Not to mention: actually saying it.)

I’ve never seen it work well. Not only does this advice not eliminate stage fright. As I said, it actually adds to the stress.

Which is why I prefer a very different approach that I hope can change the game for you, too.

In 16 years of working with leaders who went on stages, large and small, this is the only approach I’ve seen that has consistently led to improved confidence in front of audiences.

I’ve turned it into a free eBook: Speak Easy – 4 Steps to Total Confidence in Your Communication.

It’s a short read with a pretty unusual take.

If you haven’t done so already, download it here: https://michaelgerharz.com/speak-easy

PS: Please share this with someone you know who struggles with stage fright. I hope it can be a game changer for them.

Speak Easy

If you’ve ever struggled with stage fright but somehow nothing you’ve tried has really worked, this is for you.

Perhaps you’ve already watched a couple of motivational YouTube videos that promised a fix.

Or you’ve been to workshops hoping to improve your body language to come across more confidently.

Maybe you’ve read some books or tried power posing and meditation.

But whatever you tried, either things didn’t really improve or you fell back to your old patterns shortly after.

I’ve tried some of these, too. I never found them to work well, either.

Until I’ve changed my approach.

I tried to understand what was really going on and realized that almost every advice out there only addresses the symptoms but not the cause. It’s a pretty unusual take that not many speak about but I think it’s obvious once you see it.

I wrote a little eBook to share with you what I’ve discovered over the years.

It works for me and it works for my clients.

I hope it does for you, too.

It’s also free.

Get it here: https://michaelgerharz.com/speak-easy

PS: If you find this useful, please share it with your friends and colleagues so that others can improve their stage presence, too.

Did someone say “authentic”?

Reminder: Authenticity is in the eye of the beholder. It’s not your call, it’s theirs.

No matter how “authentic” you think you are, it’s their perception of your actions and words that counts: Do they perceive what you say and do as being consistent with how you say and do it?

Their perception is not in your full control – which is why I think that focusing on “authenticity” can lead you astray.

What’s in your control, though, is being true to your values and beliefs – which starts with getting clarity about those and being able to articulate them. Whether someone perceives that as “authentic” is a different question.

Body language tricks

The biggest lever to appearing confident on stage isn’t body language. It’s saying what you mean.

When we don’t believe in the words we use, it will almost always feel at least a little weird because our body wants to do one thing (according to what we actually believe in) while our brain wants it to do another thing (according to what we pretend to believe in).

Most of us are not professional actors. If you lack confidence in your words, you’re not just going to trick your audience with one or two hacks from the last body language workshop. (And let’s just face it: even some professional actors aren’t that good at it.) While most audiences are not body language pros, either, most are pretty good at sensing a mismatch between what our body does and what our words say. They probably can’t pinpoint what’s off exactly but they can somehow sense that something’s off.

That dynamic changes when you switch to saying what you mean, using words you deeply believe in. It won’t magically turn you into a confident speaker, but it will give a much greater impact to anything you do to amplify your message, mostly because message and delivery will be consistent.

A Myth is a myth is a … truth?

“Only 7% of communication relies on the actual words that are spoken.”

This is the Mehrabian myth. It’s a widespread piece of “conventional wisdom” that gets repeated over and over again.

Which doesn’t make it true.

In fact, it’s wrong (at least in the common representation cited above).

Why then do so many people believe the myth?

Part of the reason is that it gets repeated. Over. And over. Again. Unfortunately, repetition increases the perceived truth of an information. It turns out that people are more likely to believe a statement when they hear it repeatedly. And that’s regardless of whether they’re dumb or super smart. Even smart and critical thinkers are more likely to believe a statement when they hear it repeatedly.

Let me repeat this: Even smart and critical thinkers are more likely to believe a statement when they hear it repeatedly.

Of course … advertisers love this. Propagandists, too. That’s why they keep repeating their statements over and over again (and over and over and over and over …). They intuitively understand that drip by drip it’ll increase the likelihood that people believe it (within certain limits, of course).

Which doesn’t make their statements any more true.

It’s important to keep that in mind when reading a message repeated frequently: No, a repetition doesn’t make it any more true.

The Mehrabian myth is still a myth.

Smile!

Do it!

And while you’re at it think about a beautiful interaction you had.

Stay with that thought for a while!


Good. How do you feel?

If you’re anything like me, you’ll feel better. More relaxed. Less stressed.

That’s what smiling does with us.

But the real magic happens when we do it in front of people.

Smiling is contagious. One person smiling makes other people smile as well. And it has the same effect on them. Smiling makes them feel better. More relaxed. Less stressed.

That’s why smiling is one of the best ways to start into a conversation.

Why don’t you try it on the next person that has a conversation with you?

About authenticity

When people work on appearing more authentic what they often actually do is become less authentic. Because what they do is to treat the symptoms rather than the cause. For example, they try to work on their body language, their voice, their words to appear more authentic rather than to become more authentic.

What I often observe is that people adapt behaviours that are not theirs. Behaviours that someone told them to use. However, instead of feeling more comfortable on stage, this leads them to feel more stressed because now, there’s so much more to concentrate on: what to do with their hands, how to look at the audience, how to walk the stage, how to pause in between sentences and so much more. Thus, they appear even less authentic.

When you work on becoming authentic rather than appearing authentic, the cause is often quite different. It’s not the body language or the wording you use, but the posture. For example, people become inauthentic when they speak about things they don’t really believe in or use words they don’t really believe in. Unless you’re a professional actor, your body will show signs of uncertainty when you don’t believe in the things you say. That’s what audiences perceive as inauthentic.

The most effective way to become more authentic is to work on what you say. Speak about things you actually care about. Use the words you actually believe in. Work hard to empathise with your audience so that you are confident that what you have to say actually does change things for the better. And, most importantly, care for your audience.

And then, when you say the things you believe in, using words you believe in, observe closely what your body wants to do – and reinforce that. Get rid of what others tell you to do with your body, voice, and words but find the words that are true to yourself and your cause.

Spread the Word

Picture of Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz