agreement Archive - The Art of Communicating

What’s wrong with persuasion?

It works. When you do it right, apply all the tricks and psychological hacks, chances are you’ll win them over.

It gets you the agreement. They say yes. You’ve clearly won.

And that’s the problem.

Because persuasion gets you what you wanted.
But did it get them what they needed?

You wanted their approval.
But did you get ownership?

You wanted them to act.
But did you get commitment?

So later, when it gets tough,
when the doubts creep in,
when priorities shift…

Will they stick with it? Or delay it?
Or simply do something else?

That’s the cost of persuasion.

It feels like progress.
But it’s not the kind that lasts.

Because it was always your idea.
And never fully theirs.

Leaders who light the path don’t bother with persuasion.

They aim to speak so clearly, others see for themselves why it matters.

To them.

And once they do, they’ll act.

Keep lighting the path!

If no one pushes back, your idea might be in trouble.
I didn’t realize this for a long time.

When people nod, say “yes,” and don’t push back, it feels like you’ve done your job.

“They get it.”

Except… they don’t.
(Because if they did, you wouldn’t need to keep checking.)

I’ve been in meetings where everyone agreed.
And then nothing happened.
No follow-through.
No real commitment.
Just polite nods collecting dust.

The problem is that agreement is cheap.

It’s an easy way out.
People agree to be polite.
To avoid conflict.
Or simply to move the meeting along.

It often happens when you’ve done all the talking.
You’ve explained. Reasoned. Persuaded. Until people got tired.

Alignment is different.
It happens when you create space.

Space for others to engage.
To question. Reflect. Challenge.
To make the idea their own.

Which is what transforms “your” idea into a shared idea.

It might be the slower “yes”.
But at least it’s one that people actually mean –
and carry forward even when you’re not in the room.

Keep lighting the path

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