Fear of missing o…

A couple of things that FOMO, the fear of missing out, helps us with:

What if the world is going crazy about a tennis player who wants to travel to Australia but is refused entry to the country and we don’t know about it.

What if a new word puzzle sets the world in addiction mode and we’re the last to hear about it.

What if a friend has just commented on my picture on Instagram.

What if another friend has just posted an update on her morning routine.

What if someone just sent me a snap.

We better don’t take the risk of missing out on that. So, let’s just quickly check our phone to catch up on things, shall we?

Rather than speak with the person sitting right next to us. Make a personal connection. Embark on a conversation about a topic that’s so much more exciting than we thought as it turns out the person sitting next to us is a real expert in that field.

Fear of missing out is a major component of the fuel that social media brews to hook us up. They brew it so masterfully that they convince us to miss out on a lot of other opportunities without the same level of fear – such as the things that happen offline in the space we’re at right in that moment.

When I enter a workshop room, it’s not uncommon that I have a dozen brilliant people sitting in front of me and not one is talking to the other but all are staring on their phone.

The offline world is not at all good in brewing the same addictive fuel of missing out. Apparently, we fear so much more what we miss out on online that we overlook what we miss out on offline.

It takes conscious effort to act on this.

Hey, here’s more of what you like

A huge building block to the appeal of social media – and ultimately to their success – is their brilliance in surfacing more of the things we enjoy.

You enjoyed this cooking video? Here are five other awesome recipes to check out. You love Led Zeppelin? Check out these 7 incredible drum riffs from John Bonham.

But also:

You believe X? Here are ten more reasons to believe it.
You hate this guy? Here are 13 other reasons to hate him even more.

The dark side is strong in social media and there’s no easy fix for it.

More of the same leads to more of the same. Whether it’s good or bad. Whether it’s useful or destructive. It gets amplified.

The thing to be aware of is that the control of the stream is with the media. They conclude that you are someone who loves Led Zeppelin and hates this guy. So they show you more of that stuff.

Not because it’s in your best interest. But because it’s in their best interest. It keeps you on their platform so they can show you more ads. And keep you from visiting someone else’s platform.

Most importantly, they don’t feed you based on who you want to be, but based on who you are. Or, more precisely, based on who you are according to their data (which, to be fair, could be a rather accurate representation).

Actually, TikTok has just announced some counteraction “to protect against viewing too much of a content category that may be fine as a single video but problematic if viewed in clusters”.

But ultimately, you should probably not let the media determine your priorities in the first place. Ultimately, you should take control of the pieces you’re going to consume. (And no, this is not a problem that’s only affecting the youth.)

A good place to start is to become aware of the mechanisms by asking “Why are they surfacing this?”

And then to practise saying “no” – either by leaving or by consciously searching for something of your choosing.

But in the end, I feel like an even better approach would be to question whether aimlessly surfing the media is a good use of your time at all.

Oh, and by the way, if you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy … well, I’m going to let you determine that.

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Dr. Michael Gerharz