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Can’t quite put my finger on it

Recently, in the mind of some random person: “It’s… odd. I just had two meetings, back to back, and they’ve left me feeling so different, and I’m not quite sure why. The first one had it all – flashy presentation, persuasive arguments, all the right words. It was like a well-rehearsed play, everything in its perfect place. I felt… well, I felt impressed.

“But then there was the second one. It wasn’t as… shiny? We chatted, we laughed. They seemed genuinely curious about what I had to say, which was a pleasant surprise. There wasn’t this rush to get me to agree or nod my head, just this… space. A space for thoughts, feelings… connection?

“I don’t know how to put it. With the first, I felt like I was on a fast-moving train, being shown the sights outside the window. But with the second, it was like a leisurely walk in a park, noticing things together. It’s strange, isn’t it? Both paths led to the same destination, but one journey just felt… richer? Warmer? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something about that second meeting that lingers with me.”

The impressive performance in the first meeting can be bought with time and money. Hire a good agency, practice, and you’re there.

The second meeting requires empathy and genuine interest, things that can’t be bought.

Mr. Smith and Mrs. Garcia

Each day, as the city awakens, Mr. Smith is already at his startup’s hub. His morning ritual is unwavering — a sharp nod, an exact “Good morning, team”.

His vision for the company is as clear as the glass walls of the conference room. Pitches to investors are slick and precise, strategies streamlined.

There’s admiration in the eyes of his team, not from personal bonds, but from witnessing the laser focus of a founder who knows exactly where he’s steering the ship. The respect for him doesn’t stem from shared laughs but from the undoubted clarity of his vision.

Then there’s Mrs. Garcia. Her startup radiates a different energy from the moment you step in.

Morning huddles aren’t just about updates — they’re spaces where ideas intertwine, challenges are shared, and solutions are co-created.

Her vision, while clear, isn’t rigid. She doesn’t dictate the journey; instead, she lights the path, trusting her team to bring their unique strengths to the table. Pitches to investors feel less like presentations and more like stories, weaving the company’s purpose with real-world impact.

With Mrs. Garcia, there’s a palpable sense of collective ownership.

While both entrepreneurs are bound to leave a mark, the journeys they chart out for their teams vary profoundly.

Entrepreneurship, it seems, isn’t just about launching a venture — it’s about understanding the souls who join you on that journey.

Where great ideas go to die

Recently, in a marketing brainstorming session with a table full of snacks and charts.

Chief Trend Officer (CTO): “Alright team, we’ve got the latest trend report right here. Fidget spinners are making a comeback! We need to integrate them into our campaign.”

Marketing Intern (tentatively): “But, um, isn’t our product a high-end coffee machine?”

CTO: “Precisely! Imagine: a coffee machine with a built-in fidget spinner. Every time you brew, you spin!”

CEO (trying not to laugh): “Or, maybe we could explore why people love coffee? The aroma, the morning ritual, the conversations over a cup? Dive into the shared experiences and emotions?”

CTO (with an enthusiastic grin): “Sure, all that deep stuff is great, but just imagine a GIF with someone sipping espresso while spinning a fidget spinner! Viral content!”

CEO: “Well, while we’re at it, why not add a whistle? Brew, sip, spin, and toot! We’ll revolutionize morning routines everywhere!”

CTO (pausing, thinking deeply, then with a eureka moment): “…Can we patent that?”

Ear to the ground

Good communicators want to be understood; great ones start by understanding.

The good ones strive for clarity to make it easy for their audience to catch their message. They’re skilled and their ideas often leave an impression.

But then there are those who seem to possess an almost magical touch in the way they communicate. They stand out not because they’re louder or more extroverted, but because they approach communication differently.

Instead of starting with a message and searching for ears to hear it, they begin with an ear to the ground, attuned to the heartbeat of their audience.

When we encounter one of them, we feel understood. We’re not just being told; we’re being invited into a shared vision. It’s less about them and more about a collective “us”, less a transaction of information and more a transformation of perspective.

These communicators understand that lasting change comes not from dictating what others should see, but from lighting the path so others can see it for themselves.

In a world filled with noise and distractions, these leaders don’t just capture our attention; they capture our hearts. And it’s there, in that space of emotional connection and shared understanding, where real, lasting change begins.

In the vast sea of voices, the ones that resonate are those that truly understand their listeners.

A quick question

Imagine a scenario where your team feels as invested in the company’s vision as you are; what changes in your leadership approach would foster that environment?

Would love to hear your thoughts on that!

A bit of a mess

You’ve started with the best of intentions. You’ve chased opportunities and kept doors open. You’ve been a good listener and tried to fulfill the wishes of your customers and your team.

But then – before you even notice it – you find yourself in a bit of a mess. Initiatives begin to overlap, priorities clash, and what was once a structured strategy begins to resemble a haphazard scramble.

You’ve committed to one “yes” too many. You’ve crossed the line to becoming aimless. You’ve essentially become lost.

When leaders frequently bypass saying “no”, they inadvertently plunge their teams into a whirlpool of confusion. Each “yes” is not merely an affirmation; it’s a commitment of time, energy, and resources.

Worse, this inability to set boundaries and make selective decisions blurs the team’s vision. Instead of a clear path lit by intention and strategy, the route becomes foggy, littered with detours and distractions. The light that should guide the path dims, causing uncertainty and doubt to creep in.

For some, saying “no” feels easy. But for most of us, it’s not. But leadership is not about embracing every opportunity. It’s about making choices that align with the team’s vision. Saying “no” is an instrument of clarity that allows teams to focus on what truly matters and keep the light focused on their path.

Choosing “no”

A “no” to excessive jargon is an embrace of clear, straightforward language that every listener, regardless of their background, can understand.

A “no” to redundant meetings is a commitment to purposeful collaboration.

A “no” to information overload is a commitment to prioritize, ensuring clarity over clutter.

A “no” to lengthy emails signals respect for the recipient’s time and attention.

A “no” to generic statements is a push for specificity, ensuring that feedback, directions, and insights are meaningful and actionable.

A “no” to speaking without listening underlines that everyone’s on the team for a reason.

A “no” to speaking for the sake of speaking ensures that when words are spoken, they carry weight and relevance.

“No” is a choice.

In the vast sea of words and information, sometimes what you choose not to say or include makes what you do communicate all the more powerful. As leaders, embracing these principles can elevate our communication, making every interaction more meaningful and impactful.

Keep lighting the path!

The double-edged “yes”

Hidden within every “yes”, there’s an implicit “no”.

Steve Jobs famously said that he was as proud of the things he hasn’t done as he is about those he did do. For him, saying “no” to many ideas meant that he had more time to focus on the things that deeply mattered to him and that he really did say “yes” to.

It’s an insight we tend to forget. Saying “yes” to one thing means saying “no” to all the things you could be doing instead of the thing you said “yes” to.

Saying “yes” often feels like the most harmonious response. Whether it’s agreeing to a colleague’s project proposal, accepting a social invitation, or undertaking a new responsibility, a “yes” can carry a world of positivity and opportunity.

But every choice has an opportunity cost. Each time we say “yes” to one endeavor, we are (consciously or unconsciously) saying “no” to another. Agreeing to work late on a project means declining the family dinner. Accepting an invitation for dinner with Tom means we can’t go out with Tim. These implicit “nos” often go unrecognized, but they have a profound impact on our time, priorities, and overall well-being.

Every “yes” is not just an acceptance, but also a decline of alternative possibilities. But is that what you really want?

Getting awareness of this duality allows us to be more deliberate in our choices and ensure that when we do say “yes”, it’s to the things that align most closely with our values and objectives.

Embracing “no” is not about becoming negative or closed-off. Rather, it’s about recognizing the interconnected nature of our decisions and the implicit trade-offs within them. It’s about making the unconscious conscious and empowering ourselves to choose with greater clarity.

How do you choose?

The chaos around us

The tricky thing about distractions is that they don’t always present themselves as such. In many cases, they come disguised as opportunities. A new job offer, a side project, or a shiny new tool can all seem like positive turns to take. Yet, when looked at from the perspective of our core objectives and values, it often becomes evident that these are divergences rather than enhancements.

Add to that the constant ping of social media notifications, the allure of new ideas, or the changing tides of opportunity and responsibility, and it almost feels like the Universe is conspiring to destroy clarity as soon as we arrive at it. A merciless endeavor on the Universe’s part that requires an equally merciless endeavor on our part to maintain focus and alignment with our goals.

Being able to clearly articulate the goals – and ideally, being able to explain them to others – can be an important step in refusing to allow the Universe to divert us from our path.

While we can’t control all that happens around us, we can control our reaction to it. We can decide to say “no” to opportunities when they are not aligned with our objectives or values. And we can strive to stay in control irrespective of the chaos around us.

They won’t know what hit them

Alright, this is it. The big meeting. I’ve got all the facts lined up, PowerPoint is flawless, and my talking points are sharp. I’m ready to persuade the heck out of them. They won’t know what hit them.

Okay, opening slide – good. I can see they’re listening. Time to ramp it up. Point one, point two, hit them with a statistic! Why do they look confused? No worries, I’ll explain it again, but faster and with more emphasis.

Wait, why is Sarah looking at her watch? And why is Mike doodling? They should be hanging on to my every word. Alright, double down. Speak louder, be more assertive.

Uh oh, I’ve lost them. They’re nodding, but it’s that empty nod people do when they’ve checked out. What went wrong? I pushed all the points, I laid out all the facts.

“Don’t persuade harder, resonate stronger.” That phrase suddenly pops into my head. My old mentor, Michael, used to say that. I brushed it off back then, but it’s ringing true right now.

I need to pause. I need to breathe. What do these people care about? What matters to them? I’ve been so focused on what I want to say that I’ve ignored what they need to hear.

Alright, shift gears.

Let’s try this again.

Slow down … tune into their frequency … and hit the right notes.

Time to resonate …

Spread the Word

Dr. Michael Gerharz

Dr. Michael Gerharz